The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index: Dell Technologies Fanny Pack (4/5/2025)

There are very few things in life better than getting something for free. It’s why the human race has engineered ways to fire hot dogs, t-shirts, and tacos out of a compressed air cannon.

We here at The False Nine, in our attempt to cover all aspects of Austin FC fandom, have come up with a grading rubric to judge and rate giveaways at Q2 stadium. It’s a very simple system for very simple items, everything is graded 1-100 with 5 points possible for the Look, Usability, and Originality categories. An additional 85 points are available for the Throwability category.

Final Rankings:

1-24 – Not worth the effort of grabbing from the attendant

25-49 – No one will be heartbroken by not getting the item, nor will they be sad when they accidentally leave it at the stadium

50-74 – A perfectly cromulent giveaway item

75-99 – An item to cherish and display

100 – Reserved for a Rodney Redes bobblehead

Now, let’s get to the Giveaway:

The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index: Dell Technology Fanny Pack (4/5/2025)

Look: The Austin FC crest by itself is a clean and simple look and the clear bag makes it clearer for stadium security to see into the bag than Drew Fischer being able TO SEE WHEN BRANDON VAZQUEZ WAS DRAGGED DOWN IN THE BOX FOR A CLEAR PENALTY. The green strap is also a nice touch and the Dell logo isn’t too prominent.

Score: 5 out of 5

Usability: It’s inherently very usable, it fits a phone, small wallet, even keys and can be worn as a fanny pack or a cross body bag. The biggest issue is durability, as a few fans in the stands complained that the bags were already falling apart in a match that didn’t even feature any goals.

Score: 3 out of 5

Originality: It’s a fanny pack, they’ve been worn by dorky parents and children since 1962. As stadium bag policies have become more restrictive and along with the popularity of cross body bags they’ve become more common giveaways

Score: 3 out of 5

Throwability: It’s a lightweight bag that is roughly hand sized and can hold items that make it easier to throw. I’m fairly confident if I had the 10 oz YETI Tumbler from the 2022 playoff game against Real Salt Lake or other similar heavy object I could have put it into the fanny pack and HIT DREW FISCHER IN THE HEAD AND MAYBE HE WOULD KNOW WHAT A PENALTY IS.

It does lose points because the plastic can cause grip difficulty or it to slip out of your hand when throwing, especially on a rainy night or after La Murga has performed Club de Cuervos.

Score: 80 out of 85

Final Score: 91 out of 100

Ranking of Giveaways (score in parenthesis):

Yeti Season Ticket Holder Gift (98)

Yeti 10 oz Tumbler (96)

LED Bracelet Giveaway (95)

Dell Technologies/Intel Bucket hat (92)

Dell Technologies Fanny Pack (91)

Heineken Koozie (86)

4ATX Foundation/SeatGeek Fan (85)

SeatGeek Stadium Scarf (85)

Q2 Stadium Scarf (84)

YETI Hat 2023 (84)