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The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index – Netspend FanBand Bracelet (9/17/2022 vs. Nashville SC)

Posted on September 18, 2022September 18, 2022 by Charles Peacock

There are very few things in life better than getting something for free. It’s why the human race has engineered ways to fire hot dogs, t-shirts, and tacos out of a compressed air cannon. 

We here at The False Nine, in our attempt to cover all aspects of Austin FC fandom, have come up with a grading rubric to judge and rate giveaways at Q2 stadium. It’s a very simple system for very simple items, everything is graded 1-100 with 5 points possible for the Look, Usability, and Originality categories. An additional 85 points are available for the Throwability category. 

Final Rankings:

1-24 – Not worth the effort of grabbing from the attendant

25-49 – No one will be heartbroken by not getting the item, nor will they be sad when they accidentally leave it at the stadium

50-74 – A perfectly cromulent giveaway item

75-99 – An item to cherish and display

100 – Reserved for a Rodney Redes bobblehead 

Now, let’s get to the 2022 Giveaways:

Netspend FanBand Bracelet

Look: It’s Black, It’s Verde, it has “Verde! Listos!” on it. Completely on brand for an Austin FC giveaway, they even hid the Netspend logo on the inside so it’s not visible.
Score: 5 out of 5

Originality: It’s original in the sense that it was a way to enter a giveaway/raffle via a QR code, but it’s still a black and Verde Plastic Wristband (and not as cool as the St. David’s wristbands we received earlier this season)
Score: 2 out of 5

Usability: It had a built in “use” by entering a giveaway, but it also required an e-mail capture and doing a Captcha. If Hell is real (and not just Ohio) and I go there, my punishment will be trying to sign up for things online and constantly doing Captchas until my identity is broken and I wonder whether or not I am even real and not just a simulation.
Score: -15 out of 5

Throwability: The Great equalizer, or rather, it would be if we hadn’t already had a wristband that was ballistically better than this item. That received a a 75 out of 85 score, this has to be less than that.
Score: 70 out of 85

Final Score: 62 out of 85

Ranking of 2022 Giveaways (score in parenthesis):

Heineken Koozie (86)

4ATX Foundation/SeatGeek Fan (85)

St. David’s LED bracelet (82)

Yeti Hat (81)

Netspend FanBand Bracelet (62)

Two-Sided Towel (35)

This may be the last rendition of these rankings for the season, in which case, I want to thank everyone for reading and sharing their opinions and look forward to next season when the rankings return

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