Gentle reader, another disappointing week. Our El FC lost a winnable game and I wasn’t able to correctly read my new bat’s movements. I feel like I’m in a Yogi Berra cycle where it’s déjà vu all over again. Or, in the (slightly emended) words of the magisterial David Coverdale, here we go again. So,…
Well this past week’s MLS play was only mildly absurd by league standards. We didn’t have Miami beating Charlotte with only 10 men for a half and no Messi or Chicago scoring 3 goals after the 80th minute (and saving a PK in that stretch) to win the Brimstone Cup up in Frisco, but it…
The match-by-match report on La Murga de Austin’s setlist and an analysis of which songs correspond to goals scored or conceded by Austin FC.
There are very few things in life better than getting something for free. It’s why the human race has engineered ways to fire hot dogs, t-shirts, and tacos out of a compressed air cannon. We here at The False Nine, in our attempt to cover all aspects of Austin FC fandom, have come up with…
Gentle reader, it’s been a challenging time. Firstly, as you all well know, my beloved hens departed this corporeal existence. Thanks to Chucky for filling in for me last week as I took some time to grieve. You know, in order to help others, you must help yourself first. As we all know, our beloved…
Well, since we are two weeks into the new MLS season, a number of us gathered around the compound and started looking at the Power Rankings from MLS, ESPN, Backheeled, and other sources. And while many of the people are doing amazing work over there, some of their analysis is just lazy. To be fair,…
It’s a cool March morning at The Compound. AND I AM FUCKING PISSED! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT BULLSHIT LAST NIGHT!It was clearly explained to me that an opening match win meant that Austin would go 34-0-0 (W-D-L as God herself intended) and now the season is ruined. A coach in his second game already…
Know Your Team! There are a lot of new faces around Austin FC this year and a lot of players from previous seasons we think we know, but don’t. Your friends at The False Nine have you covered! Each week we’ll bring you hard-hitting inside information so you can get to know each of our…
Hello False Niners! I am filling in for Louis this week as he needed a break after finding out about the demise of his beloved chickens. As he soul searches (his own, chickens don’t have souls) he is still in communication and he will be back soon. It is a beautiful morning near Austin, TX…
Another season is here, which means Adidas has once again used the Design Paintbucket to come up with kits for every team using their one template they’ve come up with over their two year design process. Obligatory links to previous iterattions: Dillo and the rest. They release within two weeks of the season starting, which…