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Man Has Accessory Taken Away, Returns For Vengeance

Posted on March 4, 2023March 4, 2023 by Andrea Provolone

You doubted him. You questioned his prowess and leadership. You stole his arm band (rude). You started him on the bench. Now he’s back…and his eyes are frikkin’ laser beams.  Did you think you would just get away with it? Did you think he would go silently? You’ve angered him and now his eyeballs can…

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Chicken Prediction–It’s Witchcraft

Posted on March 4, 2023March 3, 2023 by Louis de Ludovico

Dear readers, I can’t lie to you. This has been a doleful week. Although I stand by what my beloved hens predicted, nevertheless there seem to be powers even greater than chickens. This game buffeted me about like a ship in stormy seas. The failure to win was bad enough to take, but this loss…

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La Murga Report – 2/25/23 vs. St. Louis CITY

Posted on March 3, 2023March 2, 2023 by H.E. Pennypacker

The match-by-match report on La Murga de Austin’s setlist and an analysis of which songs correspond to goals scored or conceded by Austin FC.

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MLS Cheering Guide – Match Day 2

Posted on March 2, 2023March 2, 2023 by Uncle Tony P.

The False 9 let’s you know who to cheer for in week 2 of MLS action and reminds you that yes, Jared Stroud is a doo-doo head.

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The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index – Q2 Stadium Scarf (2/25/2023 vs. St Louis CITY)

Posted on February 26, 2023February 26, 2023 by Charles Peacock

The 2023 season kicked off yesterday for Austin FC against the expansion St. Louis CITY team. While other blogs, podcasts, and carrier pigeons will get into the tactical analysis of Austin playing with dual 8s or a double pivot, or whatever Jared Stroud may or may not have said to Kippy; I have a slightly…

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Chicken Prediction–Gateway to Pain

Posted on February 25, 2023February 23, 2023 by Louis de Ludovico

Hello, gentle readers. It’s been some time since we last met. Fear not, though. We’re back and ready to start this new campaign, giving El FC the support we’re known for. Some things have happened, club-wise around these here parts. For example, this beauty is no longer playing with us. But this beauty is. And…

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The MLS Cheering Guide – Week 1

Posted on February 23, 2023February 23, 2023 by Uncle Tony P.

The wait is over. MLS, the wildest, most entertaining league in the world, is back! Of course there are some major changes this year. A new, incredibly convoluted playoff format was just announced with more teams making it to the post-season. (Sorry Houston, you’ll still find a way to miss out.) A new team joins…

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The 2023 Season Preview: Staff Predictions

Posted on February 22, 2023February 22, 2023 by Uncle Tony P.

The False 9 Staff makes predictions for the 2023 season!

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The 2023 Season Preview: The Schedule

Posted on February 17, 2023February 17, 2023 by Uncle Tony P.

Part 2 of the 2023 Season Preview looks at the daunting schedule Austin FC faces this year.

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The Definitive Austin FC Kit Rankings

Posted on February 15, 2023February 15, 2023 by Charles Peacock

Austin FC is entering its third MLS season and we as fans are incredibly fortunate to have enjoyed our primary VerdeBlack kit. It’s iconic, unique color and pattern for the league, and made clear our love of something incredibly important in all of our lives: double insulated tumblers. Seeing those colors all over Austin has…

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The Latest

  • Chicken Prediction: Slinging Our Way To Victory
  • MLS Cheering Guide – Match Day 4
  • La Murga Report – 3/14/23 vs. Violette
  • Chicken Prediction: Real Pain
  • MLS Cheering Guide – Match Day 3
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