The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index: Q2 Beanie (2/22/2025 vs. Sporting KC)

There are very few things in life better than getting something for free. It’s why the human race has engineered ways to fire hot dogs, t-shirts, and tacos out of a compressed air cannon.

We here at The False Nine, in our attempt to cover all aspects of Austin FC fandom, have come up with a grading rubric to judge and rate giveaways at Q2 stadium. It’s a very simple system for very simple items, everything is graded 1-100 with 5 points possible for the Look, Usability, and Originality categories. An additional 85 points are available for the Throwability category.

Final Rankings:

1-24 – Not worth the effort of grabbing from the attendant

25-49 – No one will be heartbroken by not getting the item, nor will they be sad when they accidentally leave it at the stadium

50-74 – A perfectly cromulent giveaway item

75-99 – An item to cherish and display

100 – Reserved for a Rodney Redes bobblehead

Now, let’s get to the Giveaway:

Q2 Beanie (2/22/2025 vs. Sporting KC)

Look: It’s Black, it’s Verde, the poof is a combination of all of the colors. They were widely worn in the Supporter’s Section last night and they fit in perfectly.

Score: 3 out of 5

Usability: This is going to be controversial, but this is the best timed Giveaway in Austin FC history. Two weeks ago when the initial forecast put this match in the 60s to 70 it was widely mocked. Then we fast forward to the actual match, played in a misty and chilly 39 degree night, they fit in perfectly. I was going to give them an 8 out of 5 for Usability.

The beanie itself has a flawed design. It has two tags on opposite sides and because of that, as well as the fabric choice, the beanie’s ability to stretch and fit is hindered in a way that caused as many headaches as watching Chris Penso NOT CALL HANDBALL AND SEND OFF JEVALJIC WHEN HE JUMPED IN THE AIR AND TOUCHED THE BALL WITH BOTH HANDS. THAT’S THE MOST BASIC PART OF THIS SPORT!

Score: 5 out of 5

Originality: It’s hard to give this high points for originality when I saw multiple other Austin FC beanies (that are a better design) around the stadium.

Score: 2 out of 5

Throwability: As you are all aware by now (hopefully), we take great pains to try and evaluate the most important category. We think about it in many ways and different perspectives, this writer did invent “Scarfball.” But this? This is difficult to ball up due to the size and a beanie is an inherently not aerodynamic shape. When Osman Bukari scored a goal by standing in the correct place and the ball bouncing off of his face I tossed my beanie in the air like I had just graduated, and it just kind of went it’s own direction. Perhaps there is a lesson in this about how not being able to control things perfectly doesn’t mean they’re bad and that the creativity can flow and do its own thing and be effective.

Score: 45 out of 85

Final Score: 55 of 100

Ranking of Giveaways (score in parenthesis):

Yeti Season Ticket Holder Gift (98)

Yeti 10 oz Tumbler (96)

LED Bracelet Giveaway (95)

Dell Technologies/Intel Bucket hat (92)

Heineken Koozie (86)

4ATX Foundation/SeatGeek Fan (85)

YETI Hat 2023 (84)

Q2 Stadium Scarf (84)

HEB Re-Usable Grocery Bag (83)