What are we supposed to do? We look statistically at matchups, performances, et cetera, et cetera, and we get sad trombone music. We decide to just vibe and we get burned. Excepting Turd, the compound is filled with optimists. He’s a bit of a “Why even have a glass? It’s just gonna get broken or…
If you are unfamiliar with the concept of The False 9’s La Murga Report, click here. This past Wednesday, we had a first for Austin FC: a home match suffered a weather delay. Somewhere around 100 minutes after the match was supposed to kick off, it finally did. This reporter spent around six hours in the…
I’m tired y’all. The delayed start to last night’s game meant a late arrival back at the False 9 compound. The coffee did not hit right this morning, but the world of MLS doesn’t stop as we have a full weekend of games to scope out. Let’s get this done so that I can take…
Normally, I prewrite this column before the matchday with a few blanks since I have a rough idea of what I am going to cover. With the potential of clinching a playoff berth last night, I decided to just let everything flow out after returning from McKalla, and I sure didn’t expect to stay up…
Wow. We were wrong. Gloriously wrong. I’m ecstatic that we were wrong. In our defense, I’d like to ask anyone to point us to a reputable bookie who got the prediction correct. The only logical conclusion: despite the odds, our boys in verde will not be stopped. Honestly, I was wondering how we were so…
You know what I think I enjoyed almost as much as beating the shit out of LAFC last Friday night? Having the entire rest of the weekend to kick back and watch everyone else duke it out while I basically did this: Good times. But we must move on quickly as there is a full…
Since, some of you have started following this series after the first post, there were multiple requests to explain what a magic number is, so I’ll kick into that before gushing about our 4-1 thrashing of LAFC. The magic number is the number of points we need to gain to be one point higher than…
If you are unfamiliar with the concept of The False 9’s La Murga Report, click here. I approached yesterday’s match with apprehension, not just at the worry of trying to keep my iPhone dry while sitting with the Verde Wall, but also the match itself. Burdened by knowing what the (Incredibly Incorrect) Chickens predicted I was…
Oof. That hurt. I don’t know of anyone who was expecting that kind of pain from the last match. Somehow, the chickens missed it. Perhaps their powers were clouded by the residual love for Adrian and the Aztex. Perhaps it was their new ethically sourced, pelleted feed that threw them off. Regardless, they laid the…
MLS teams have between 6-9 (nice!) games left to play in the 2022 regular season, meaning it’s officially crunch time for everyone trying to make the playoffs. In the East, 5th through 9th place is separated by just 2 points, while the West logjam sees 6th through 10th place with only a 3-point difference. With…