With Austin FC nearing their last regular game of the season, it was announced Josh Wolff would be serving a suspension for technical staff yellow card accumulation. After receiving a tip from a credible Austin FC supporter who is working ACL Fest, our False Nine investigative journalists were alerted to a peculiar situation. “I think…
Was it the occult or just some random occurrences that led to El FC’s loss last week? Perhaps there’s something in the Pacific Northwest’s water that has made us winless up there. We’re not making any guesses. All we will say is that, once the chickens found out there were no Sambas in their size,…
We have arrived. A regular season that kicked off almost eight months ago comes to an end this Sunday, better known around MLS as Decision Day. If you are unfamiliar with the concept, all teams in the league will play on Sunday. Every Eastern Conference game will kick off at 1:30 p.m. and every Western…
Well, our guys in Verde like Georgia turf better than Cascadia turf. It’s honestly amazing that we got a 0-0 draw in Seattle last season since we have not won any points in our last 5 trips to the Pacific Northwest. Thankfully, there will be no playoff games on artificial surfaces this season. Speaking of…
Thursday morning, my lovely hens woke me up. They were all aflutter. I didn’t know why. Honestly, I wish they hadn’t. You see, I was in the middle of a dream. I was kissing Valentino by a crystal-blue, Italian stream. Regardless, I was now mostly awake and did my best to give my hens the…
Welcome back class. How was your time away? Did you get to do some traveling? Maybe a little relaxing? I hope so, because HOLY CRAP THE PLAYOFFS ARE JUST TWO WEEKS AWAY! If you need a refresher, here’s where things stand in the West. Austin FC can wrap up the 2nd seed with a point…
I first off want to apologize to our loyal readers. Since I was not proficient in CONCACAF Champions League rules (because it’s CONCACAF), I did not realize that Montreal (or Toronto/Vancouver) are not able to use MLS spots to qualify for the CONCACAF Champions League. As a result, the 3rd place race with Montreal only…
The match-by-match report on La Murga de Austin’s setlist and an analysis of which songs correspond to goals scored or conceded by Austin FC.
There are very few things in life better than getting something for free. It’s why the human race has engineered ways to fire hot dogs, t-shirts, and tacos out of a compressed air cannon. We here at The False Nine, in our attempt to cover all aspects of Austin FC fandom, have come up with…
Special thanks to Zach Lyons for the photo. You can view more of his work here: