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Chicken Prediction: Slinging Our Way To Victory

Posted on March 18, 2023March 18, 2023 by Louis de Ludovico

Gentle reader, we have learned this week that being an Austin tifoso is no easy task. In fact, we must always be prepared for fortune to sling us about, both to and fro. Case in point: this week’s crashing out of the CCL.

But, the fickle soccer gods taketh and giveth. Last week, my hens, combining their historical knowledge of previous trips to Sandy with their foresight, saw a narrow loss. In our defense, the ever estimable Phil West had the same idea:

You're pretty much in my head each week, chickens, but I'll venture on the side of optimism and say 1-1 instead of the 0-1 I'm also inclined toward

— Phil West (philwest@journa.host) (@philwest) March 11, 2023

Since the weather was glorious at the beginning of this week of Spring Break and we were feeling a smidge impecunious, the hens and I decided upon a little staycation. We agreed to go the the heart of Austin, the gem in the center of our fair polis, the old refuge of bandits: Zilker Park. Loaded up in my whip (a powder-blue, 1986 Aries K, two door), the 3 of us made our way to the Animal Exhibits at the Nature and Science Center.

After spending some time there, I must confess, dear reader, our emotional cups runneth over.

Both the employees and animals were slinging and slanging their equipment, having a ball of a time. There was something in the air that night
The stars were bright, Fernando
They were shining there for you and me
For liberty, Fernando
Though I never thought that we could lose
There’s no regret
If I had to do the same again
I would, my friend, Fernando
If I had to do the same again
I would, my friend, Fernando

Apologies. Kinda got away from myself for a bit.

It turns out that, for a brief time only, the facility is nursing an elephant back to health. San Julius was especially excited to see it. We made our way. Reader, I can’t tell you how excited I was to see such a magnificent beast so close to me. I had to take a photo. Unfortunately, my bumbling fingers struck again and I dropped my phone over the ledge. Over the ledge!? How on earth did I physically accomplish that?

To my surprise, the elephant noticed the phone fall and did a remarkable thing. He picked it up and gave it to me.

So, grateful to have my phone back, I decided to check out local and state-wide weather. I mumbled to myself, “Houston’s not as good as us.” When I uttered “Houston,” Wolfie clucked loudly. I turned to look at her and our eyes locked. Staring at me, she took two happy steps to the right and then stopped. Nothing more.

Yes, my dear, I understand.

El FC 2-0 Bayou Sharters

Louis de Ludovico

Viewing McKalla as his personal empire, Louis lives for the beautiful game. And food. Especially flamingo tongues. A chicken savant.

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