Now that Austin FC’s first team is back in action we have actual things to post and write about. The break has not been kind here at the compound: the chickens are restless, we’ve had the 4-1 Austin FC win over LAFC in Q2 playing on a loop, and Travis McTravelface has been rocking back and forth figuring out all the US Open Cup permutations.
The weeks off have led to a lot of discourse centered around the coming match up and much of it has asked a simple question: Are Austin FC and LAFC rivals? Almost as good at predicting soccer matches as a chicken (a high compliment) Phil West even wrote a piece about it in The Striker recently.
However, much like his picks, he missed the mark in a myriad of ways, mostly because Austin FC has true undeniable rivalries. Let’s break them down:
Brad Stuver vs. his hair moving
We know and love Brad here at The False Nine and one of the reasons we do is his ability to make his hair as solid as his keeping skills.
Only someone with amazing hair can be this happy.
But….this post is about rivalries and through some wonderful
use of google investigative journalism we found something so shocking and upsetting that this would be the rivalry origin story:
Yes, that is a picture of our beloved keeper playing for Columbus and with his hair not perfectly set, it’s difficult to tell which of this has shaken me more. He not only upgraded his club by coming to Austin, he also upgraded to a proprietary hair product.
Diego Fagundez and the Austin FC kit manager
Anyone who has watched Austin FC has noticed that when times are tough and Diego is on the field he has an interesting habit of hiking his shorts up, much to the benefit of HBMFC. He’s stated in interviews that it’s something he does when frustrated and to try and hype himself up to which we have to ask: Can the Austin kit crew just give the man shorter shorts so he can always play with that much focus?
Nick Lima and the 15th row behind goal
We’ve all seen it, Nick Lima gets the ball at the top of the 18 yard box, loads up, blasts a shot….into row 15. It’s always given this author hope based on seeing highlights like this:
Unfortunately for the Verde Wall we are much more likely to get hit by the shot than Lima score it as he has taken 40 official shots for Austin FC with only 5 on target and 0 goals. This will not limit our excitement every time he gets ready to shoot because this time it will be different.
Maxi Urruti and the Goal Frame
Thusfar in the young season Maxi has scored one goal (the winner against CF Montreal) but hit the frame four times as often. I have a small suggestion: make the goal just a bit bigger so that Maxi can put up more goals, please everyone send this to DGarber@majorleaguesoccer.com (for legal reasons I am forced to note we have no idea if this is his real e-mail or not).
The Los Voces Kit and Good Taste
As we have covered previously Austin FC’s newest kit is in a rivalry with anyone who can see and has taste, I apologize for subjecting my dear readers to this picture.
Alex Ring and Referee Injustice
One of the things I love about perfect blend of soldier and artist Alex Ring is his reaction whenever a referee misses a call. The yelling, the hand waving, the vein pulsing in his forehead, it unlocks something deep within him and for the next 5-10 minutes his play is spurred on by a gross sense of injustice.
These are Austin FC’s true rivalries, not some team in LA, Frisco, or Houston.