My esteemed colleague, Uncle Tony P, wrote a piece yesterday arguing that the underlying data suggests that Josh Wolff should be sacked. Maybe because I am a patient man who is so used to dealing with travel delays that it’s second nature, but the piece struck me as a bit hurried. Look, no one is…
Numbers Don’t Lie: #WolffIn or #WolffOut
We’re one game away from being halfway through the 2023 MLS season and things are, to be blunt, not going that well for Austin FC. The team sits 8th place in the Western Conference standings, was bounced out of the U.S. Open Cup at home, and maybe most embarrassingly, took an early exit in the…
Chicken Prediction: Positivity
Gentle reader, El FC’s last performance was surprising. And by surprising, I mean it ended in a victory. I will admit I was not expecting that. Unfortunately, Phil West was. Also, the dearth of trust in the team seems to not be an uncommon opinion. And so, today, gentle reader, I look to turn over…
MLS Cheering Guide – Week 16
Driussi’s back! Stuver is a wall! Rado is a maniac! We’re gonna win the World Cup! OK, maybe that was just me after Wednesday’s game, but damn if that mid-week win didn’t feel good after the previous 7 days where Austin FC was knocked out of the U.S. Open Cup, dropped a Copa Tejas match…
Austin FC Owners as Greedy Men
OK listen, this is not going to be my normal ‘comparing Austin FC players to boy band members’ schtick. We’ve got some important shit to discuss. From the second Austin FC was announced, members of this community fought to establish it as one of the best soccer cities in the country. From announcement day up…
Chicken Prediction: The Dog of War
Gentle reader, my hens and I are at a loss, both literally and figuratively. Many will think our predictions have gone to the dogs. We picked a 1-1 draw. So did Phil. Alas, no such result transpired. Instead of a hard-fought match that resulted in 1 or 3 points earned, our El FC crumbled like…
Chicken Prediction: We’re Streaking?
Gentle reader, we won! Yes, my hens saw this victory coming. If I’m not mistaken, this is the second league victory in a row. Do I dare say we’re on a winning streak? I will also begrudgingly admit that in inestimable Phil West also predicted a victory, but didn’t trust El FC’s defense as much…
MLS Cheering Guide – Week 14
Wednesday’s U.S. Open Cup loss stung a lot. But it’s time for a new MLS week and the cheering guide is here!
The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index – 4ATX Foundation Keychain Lanyard (5/20/2023 vs. FC Toronto)
There are very few things in life better than getting something for free. It’s why the human race has engineered ways to fire hot dogs, t-shirts, and tacos out of a compressed air cannon. We here at The False Nine, in our attempt to cover all aspects of Austin FC fandom, have come up with…
Chicken Prediction: A Mystery
Gentle reader, this team is a mystery. One day they’re minnows, barely playing recognizable soccer. The next day? They’re playing beautifully flowing, fitba, filled with fabulous phases of play. Our last match was one such fantastic show. I won’t lie, reader, my hens didn’t see this coming. They predicted a loss. At least Phil West…