Gentle reader, this team is a mystery. One day they’re minnows, barely playing recognizable soccer. The next day? They’re playing beautifully flowing, fitba, filled with fabulous phases of play. Our last match was one such fantastic show. I won’t lie, reader, my hens didn’t see this coming. They predicted a loss. At least Phil West…
Rejoice! Austin FC has won an MLS match for the first time in two months, and it came in Seattle of all places! Before Wednesday night, Austin had never scored a goal at Lumen Field. But then Ethan Finlay put in arguably his best shift in a Verde uniform, Gyasi Zardes finally put one home,…
There are very few things in life better than getting something for free. It’s why the human race has engineered ways to fire hot dogs, t-shirts, and tacos out of a compressed air cannon. We here at The False Nine, in our attempt to cover all aspects of Austin FC fandom, have come up with…
My dear reader, last match was craptastic. My hens somehow didn’t pick up on the less than stellar 2nd act of our Lord Redes. It’s not as though we were taken out behind the woodshed, but we certainly didn’t cover ourselves in glory. With Redes on the field, my hens insist their prediction would’ve held….
Austin FC players as Animorphs
Gentle reader, when is a not win a win? When the win wins over the fans like a wind through a window. Yes, my hens foresaw a victory, which, by the score, wasn’t correct, but, by the feeling afterwards, was. Phil West was just wrong: The architecture can be marvelous. I.M. Pei’s city hall is…
May 10, 2023. What a glorious day for Austin, and therefore the world! Not only did Austin FC win for the first time in almost two months, but RODNEY FREAKING REDES SCORED! Q2 Stadium may have only been about 80% full for the US Open Cup match against New Mexico United on Wednesday, but at…
Dearest Gertrude, I hope this letter finds you in good health and high spirits. I write to you today to regale you with the tale of a wondrous event that took place at Q2 stadium yesterday – a seminal moment in Austin FC history. The day was cloudy and overcast, the sun trying to peak…
Well this season hasn’t gotten off to the best start to say the least. We crashed out of CCL in a borderline unexplainable way, we are below the 9 out of 14 team playoff line in the Western conference (at least we still have time to recover on that front), and the injury bug has…
Gentle reader, El FC did not, in fact, win. My beloved hens and I were fighting the over-emotionality of others and predicted a win. Our optimism was wrong. We apologize for missing the score, but not the sentiment. If there is any positive to take from this match, it’s that Phil also missed his prediction….