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Author: Charles Peacock

Austin FC supporter since day 1, find me in Section 104

What to Watch Tonight Instead of Austin FC

Posted on October 4, 2023October 3, 2023 by Charles Peacock

The False Nine has always been intended as a place to write about interesting nonsense regarding Austin FC and Austin FC fan culture. We’ve tracked goals scored during chants, had chickens predict matches, and ranked giveaways.  We are here for the fun.  This season…has not been fun.  Austin enters tonight’s game 13th in the conference…

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A Humble Proposal in Favor of Josh Wolff

Posted on September 27, 2023September 27, 2023 by Charles Peacock

My esteemed colleague Uncle Tony P. yesterday presented a treatise on why Josh Wolff, the only head coach Austin FC has ever known, should lose his job. I understand this sentiment, Josh Wolff has become a divisive figure amongst the fan base, who have ultimately split into a few camps, including #Wolffout, #WolffIn, #Wolffisntthebiggestissue, to…

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The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index – YETI Hat (9/24/2023 vs. LA Galaxy)

Posted on September 27, 2023September 27, 2023 by Charles Peacock

The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index There are very few things in life better than getting something for free. It’s why the human race has engineered ways to fire hot dogs, t-shirts, and tacos out of a compressed air cannon.  We here at The False Nine, in our attempt to cover all aspects of Austin…

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On a Wing and a Prayer

Posted on September 20, 2023September 19, 2023 by Charles Peacock

Hello readers, I am filling in for this mid week match Chicken Prediction/Preview. Louis is still recovering from his “Watch Party” on Sunday night where something shocking happened… The Chickens turned on him. It was all a misunderstanding. After the time ran out on Austin FC’s season match against the Portland Timbers. Louis started talking…

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Just Howlin’ Around – Professionalism

Posted on September 7, 2023September 7, 2023 by Charles Peacock

EXT: view of a suburban house. INT: We see the kitchen and dining room table separated by a countertop. A staircase to the second story of the house is in the background. ANGELA is in the kitchen preparing breakfast. GAVIN is seated at the table looking at his phone eating breakfast.  OWEN walks into the…

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Just Howlin’ Around – A Sitcom Pilot

Posted on August 31, 2023August 31, 2023 by Charles Peacock

Open with an interior view of a suburban house. We see the kitchen and dining room table separated by a countertop. A staircase to the second story of the house is in the background. ANGELA is in the kitchen preparing breakfast. GAVIN is seated at the table looking at his phone eating breakfast.  OWEN walks…

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15 Minutes with a Legend

Posted on August 2, 2023August 2, 2023 by Charles Peacock

As I entered the hotel lobby in Fort Lauderdale, I knew this wasn’t going to be a normal interview. Typically when I meet with a bona fide soccer star, I opt for one on one conversations to get to know them, preferably outside in the fresh air where they can feel freer. Not only was…

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Chicken Prediction – “O Canada” the Banger

Posted on July 12, 2023July 12, 2023 by Charles Peacock

Hello everyone, I am back substituting for Louis in tending the chickens as he has devoted the past week fact-checking and dismissively tweeting about Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny, which if you haven’t seen is an adventure story about a grumpy old man who just wants to fall asleep on his recliner watching…

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The Worst Kit in the History of Kits

Posted on June 28, 2023June 28, 2023 by Charles Peacock

It’s been a great week for Austin FC fans. The team defeated both in state rivals 3-0 to take a lead atop the Copa Tejas standings and they hired Rodolfo Borrell as new Sporting Director (former Liverpool and City academy director, and Pep Guardiola assistant). Life is beautiful Well It was beautiful Like how dark…

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Chicken Prediction: Guess Who’s (maybe) Back?

Posted on June 21, 2023June 21, 2023 by Charles Peacock

As all of you are painfully aware, Austin FC has not played a match in 11 days when they…well, let’s just not remember what happened that day. Instead of talking about that match, I wanted to do an update on The Compound, as our intrepid staff used the break in the schedule to catch up…

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