INT: Josh Wolff’s office. His office has a desk to the right and two chairs in front of it. There’s also a couch on the back wall with a coffee table. There’s an Austin FC flag, a decorative arrangement of horseshoes, and a picture of him and Gregg Berhalter from their time together in Germany….
Author: Charles Peacock
The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index: YETI T-Shirt (4/27/2024)
We here at The False Nine, in our attempt to cover all aspects of Austin FC fandom, have come up with a grading rubric to judge and rate giveaways at Q2 stadium. It’s a very simple system for very simple items, everything is graded 1-100 with 5 points possible for the Look, Usability, and Originality…
The False Nine Chicken Predicts: Austin FC at Houston Dynamo, or “The Run Down Road Trip”
Hello readers, I am going to start by apologizing for the lack of full articles centered around the chicken’s predictions, but after our successful prediction last weekend I wanted to update everyone on a very special treat for everyone: a Road Trip to Houston, Texas and Shell Energy Stadium. The 2:40ish minute drive time would…
The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index: HEB Re-usable Grocery Bag (4/6/2024)
We here at The False Nine, in our attempt to cover all aspects of Austin FC fandom, have come up with a grading rubric to judge and rate giveaways at Q2 stadium. It’s a very simple system for very simple items, everything is graded 1-100 with 5 points possible for the Look, Usability, and Originality…
The Chickens Predict: Austin FC vs. FC Dallas
Hello dear readers, I’m not going to lie to you, it’s tough to write these, almost as tough as is it to watch this current iteration of Austin FC. From the lack of defending, the lack of offense, the lack of Josh Wolff taking accountability, it’s tough to find any kind of silver lining. So…
What to watch instead of Austin FC: The Nice Guys
If you aren’t aware, and based on box office numbers most of you aren’t, “The Nice Guys” is a movie from 2016 starring Russell Crowe and Ryan Gosling in a throwback to 1970s action films. Written and Directed by Shane Black, who built his career on writing these kinds of Odd Couple action movies (The…
The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index – Netspend Phone Wallet (3/16/2024)
There are very few things in life better than getting something for free. It’s why the human race has engineered ways to fire hot dogs, t-shirts, and tacos out of a compressed air cannon We here at The False Nine, in our attempt to cover all aspects of Austin FC fandom, have come up with…
The Chickens Predict: Austin FC vs. St Louis CITY
Austin FC is back at Q2 and I have to say I am very happy to be back at the Compound with the Chickens. Wolffie and San Julius have been incredibly comforting in this trying time for Austin FC. From giving up more than 11 corners a match, being outshot 45-11, or their complete lack…
The Chickens Predict: Austin FC at Seattle Sounders
It’s been a sad week at The Compound, not just because of how quickly Austin dashed our hopes in the first match of the season, but because the weather swings have been absolute hell on everyone. We’ve had between 4/6 and 12/16 of the staff down with the flu, congestion, or bad coughs the entire…
The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index – LED Bracelet Giveaway (2/24/2024)
There are very few things in life better than getting something for free. It’s why the human race has engineered ways to fire hot dogs, t-shirts, and tacos out of a compressed air cannon. We here at The False Nine, in our attempt to cover all aspects of Austin FC fandom, have come up with…