5) FIFA Does An Oopsie If you’re gonna have it leak, let it be either hilariously dumb, or sneaky AF. This one gets a “meh” from me in both categories. 4) Fans Pull Off Elaborate Heist At The Verde Store I’ve seen what some of you glorious weirdos are capable of. This doesn’t seem like…
OK listen, this is not going to be my normal ‘comparing Austin FC players to boy band members’ schtick. We’ve got some important shit to discuss. From the second Austin FC was announced, members of this community fought to establish it as one of the best soccer cities in the country. From announcement day up…
Austin FC players as Animorphs
All in good fun!
You doubted him. You questioned his prowess and leadership. You stole his arm band (rude). You started him on the bench. Now he’s back…and his eyes are frikkin’ laser beams. Did you think you would just get away with it? Did you think he would go silently? You’ve angered him and now his eyeballs can…
Austin FC Players As Trick-Or-Treaters
With Austin FC nearing their last regular game of the season, it was announced Josh Wolff would be serving a suspension for technical staff yellow card accumulation. After receiving a tip from a credible Austin FC supporter who is working ACL Fest, our False Nine investigative journalists were alerted to a peculiar situation. “I think…
Special thanks to Zach Lyons for the photo. You can view more of his work here:
The Choppa is a shepherd; One I absolutely want. Dani trained him to lie down in Verde pitches; He leadeth me to beer showers. He’s learning how to roll; he leadeth me in the paths of comebacks for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the hallways of Q2, I will fear no opponent; for…
What’s inside Austin FC player’s favorite gameday accessory? We ponder the personality, style and characteristics of each player to find out.