As many of you are aware, tonight during the Vancouver match a mouse was on the field and saved by our very own dearly beloved Brad Stuver. Other sites of course were busy “Watching the match” or “Thinking of questions to ask Nico” or even “How much Poutine do I need to eat to forget…
Author: Charles Peacock
Austin FC supporter since day 1, find me in Section 104
The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index: Dell Technologies Fanny Pack (4/5/2025)
There are very few things in life better than getting something for free. It’s why the human race has engineered ways to fire hot dogs, t-shirts, and tacos out of a compressed air cannon. We here at The False Nine, in our attempt to cover all aspects of Austin FC fandom, have come up with…
The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index: Yeti First team Poster (March 23, 2025 vs. San Diego FC)
There are very few things in life better than getting something for free. It’s why the human race has engineered ways to fire hot dogs, t-shirts, and tacos out of a compressed air cannon. We here at The False Nine, in our attempt to cover all aspects of Austin FC fandom, have come up with…
The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index: SeatGeek Team Scarf (3/8/2025 vs. Colorado Rapids)
There are very few things in life better than getting something for free. It’s why the human race has engineered ways to fire hot dogs, t-shirts, and tacos out of a compressed air cannon. We here at The False Nine, in our attempt to cover all aspects of Austin FC fandom, have come up with…
The Day After: A Recap of Austin FC at Portland, or “Fire everyone, we’re all going to die”
It’s a cool March morning at The Compound. AND I AM FUCKING PISSED! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT BULLSHIT LAST NIGHT!It was clearly explained to me that an opening match win meant that Austin would go 34-0-0 (W-D-L as God herself intended) and now the season is ruined. A coach in his second game already…
Bright Sunny Optimism
Hello False Niners! I am filling in for Louis this week as he needed a break after finding out about the demise of his beloved chickens. As he soul searches (his own, chickens don’t have souls) he is still in communication and he will be back soon. It is a beautiful morning near Austin, TX…
An Intensive Critique of the Heartbeat Kit
Another season is here, which means Adidas has once again used the Design Paintbucket to come up with kits for every team using their one template they’ve come up with over their two year design process. Obligatory links to previous iterattions: Dillo and the rest. They release within two weeks of the season starting, which…
The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index: Q2 Beanie (2/22/2025 vs. Sporting KC)
There are very few things in life better than getting something for free. It’s why the human race has engineered ways to fire hot dogs, t-shirts, and tacos out of a compressed air cannon. We here at The False Nine, in our attempt to cover all aspects of Austin FC fandom, have come up with…
The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index: Season Ticket Holder 5-year Anniversary Gift
There are very few things in life better than getting something for free. It’s why the human race has engineered ways to fire hot dogs, t-shirts, and tacos out of a compressed air cannon We here at The False Nine, in our attempt to cover all aspects of Austin FC fandom, have come up with…
The Bandwagon Has Open Seats for Stupid Questions – The False Nine Mailbag
After two seasons of general malaise at Austin FC…we are so back. For those of you who are starting to pay attention, there’s been a lot of changes at the club, starting last season when Josh Wolff, the only manager Austin FC has ever known, was fired after the team was mathematically eliminated from the…