Month: February 2022
Sister Tony P’s Recap: The FC Cincinnati Match
Sister Tony P. knows very little about the intricacies of soccer, but gives us her analysis anyway on the debuts of Max Urruti, Felipe Martins, Ethan Finlay, and more. And yes, it involves foosball and a fish.
La Murga Report – 2/26/2022 vs. FC Cincinnati
If you have spent any time in the Austin FC supporters Facebook group in the past nine months, first and foremost you have my sympathy: it’s a hive of scum and villainy that only serves to make the discourse around the team collectively dumber and more caustic. But if you were brave enough to wade…
Know Your Foe: FC Cincinnati
Verde fans, it’s time for Match Day #1 of the 2022 MLS Season! Today we welcome the team from Ohio that we don’t actually loathe: FC Cincinnati! This will be Austin FC’s first ever match against the Orange and Blue, so let us help you get acquainted with our visitors. FC Cincinnati Fast Facts MLS…
A Proper Primer on Poultry Prognostication
We here at The False 9 Texas are nothing if not beheld to traditions. Not ersatz traditions like one might stumble upon in Frisco. No, we supporters of The FC (or, as we affectionately call it, “El FC”) take our traditions seriously. We have decided to revive the ancient Roman act of consulting sacred chickens in times…
The Curious Case of Julio Cascante
What can we say about Austin FC’s defensive performance in 2021? As for me, I’d probably start with “dumpster fire” and then progress from there. Only two teams allowed more goals in MLS, and only three teams had more expected goals allowed. Were it not for Brad Stuver playing like the second coming of Lev…
Yoga Pose Of The Match vs. Atlas 02/16/2022
We Love Ya, We Love Ya Not
Uncle Tony P. explores the worst chant in all of American soccer.
In Frisconem
When, O Frisco, do you mean to cease abusing our patience? How long is that madness of yours still to attempt to mock us? When is there to be an end of that unbridled audacity of yours, swaggering about as it does now? Do not the SGs of the nation, do not the fans throughout the country, do…