The False Nine travelled to San Diego this weekend and we were rewarded with SDFC beach towels as a consolidation prize for not showing up on the field in their lovely city. These things are hard to take pictures of, but that won’t stop us from reviewing it as that is our God-given quest here…
One-Third of the Way Home: A 2025 Austin FC Review (So Far)
Uncle Tony P. takes a deep look at Austin FC so far in the 2025 season and explains why the next three games are the biggest of the season.
The False Nine Travel Blog: Cincinnati
The False Nine decided to make our yearly group away trip to Cincinnati this season. And even though we have no idea when Austin FC will play here next (outside of it being before we play in Colombus) this is a travel guide we put together of things to do and see for your next…
The Definitive Giveaway Rankings – FC Cincinnati edition
The False Nine travelled to FC Cincinnati this weekend and we were surprisingly rewarded with a giveaway from TQL Stadium (The Tickle), which means due to the blood pact we made for Austin FC to exist…we have to do a giveaway ranking. In case you are new here: we here at The False Nine, in…
La Murga Report – Week of 5/3/2025 vs. Minnesota and El Paso
The match-by-match report on La Murga de Austin’s setlist and an analysis of which songs correspond to goals scored or conceded by Austin FC.
The False Nine Predicts: Austin FC vs. El Paso Locomotive
Tonight Austin FC start their US Open Cup campaign, entering at the round of 32 and taking on the El Paso Locomotive. Austin FC has had a brief US Open Cup history (four total matches) and it has one very clear highlight: the only USOC game Austin won. For those of you unaware, this win…
Power Rankings Week 10
Well, we are huge fans of 4 consecutive kickoffs on Sunday. Heck, we could start with an east coast match at 1 PM ET, and make it 5 MLS matches each Sunday, keeping 10 matches on Saturday. Apple, you have a brilliant idea here that we urge you to take advantage of.
The False Nine Predicts Austin FC vs. Houston Dynamo or “This is our shortest away day, may as well go”
Hello readers! Louis is out this week as his presence is needed at the Vatican, he is a smoke scholar and is responsible for making sure the smoke during Papal elections comes out just the right color. I write this already on the road thanks to the wonders of modern technology, I anticipated the drive…
La Murga Report – 4/19/2025 vs. LA Galaxy
The match-by-match report on La Murga de Austin’s setlist and an analysis of which songs correspond to goals scored or conceded by Austin FC.
The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index: HEB Re-Usable Grocery Bag (4/19/2025)
There are very few things in life better than getting something for free. It’s why the human race has engineered ways to fire hot dogs, t-shirts, and tacos out of a compressed air cannon. We here at The False Nine, in our attempt to cover all aspects of Austin FC fandom, have come up with…