There are very few things in life better than getting something for free. It’s why the human race has engineered ways to fire hot dogs, t-shirts, and tacos out of a compressed air cannon We here at The False Nine, in our attempt to cover all aspects of Austin FC fandom, have come up with…
After two seasons of general malaise at Austin FC…we are so back. For those of you who are starting to pay attention, there’s been a lot of changes at the club, starting last season when Josh Wolff, the only manager Austin FC has ever known, was fired after the team was mathematically eliminated from the…
5) FIFA Does An Oopsie If you’re gonna have it leak, let it be either hilariously dumb, or sneaky AF. This one gets a “meh” from me in both categories. 4) Fans Pull Off Elaborate Heist At The Verde Store I’ve seen what some of you glorious weirdos are capable of. This doesn’t seem like…
Hey friends! Been a while. I’ll be honest, most of the staff took a break towards the end of the 2024 season because, well, things were bleak, and we were tired of being depressed. But it’s a new year and the wildest off-season in Austin FC’s short history is taking place right before our eyes….
Welcome dear readers to this year’s annual MLS Training Top Rankings where we debate and critique the league wide training kits. Fashion is an important part of the sport and because MLS teams only introduce one new kit person due to the lazy hard working folks at Adidas they make up for it by releasing…
Morning: Arrival and BreakfastI arrived in Vancouver on a flight from Montreal in the morning and rented a car. After arriving, I parked in a nondescript garage downtown. I needed coffee so I went the Prototype Coffee for breakfast. I ordered a plain bagel with cream cheese and a cup of coffee. Mid-Morning: A Walk…
For the first time in a very long time, I am without a job. After being fired by Austin FC I’ve decided to take advantage and do something for me. I will be traveling to various MLS playoff games and providing insight into the cities and the matches. I only agreed to this because The…
EXT: view of a suburban house. INT: We see the kitchen and dining room table separated by a countertop. A staircase to the second story of the house is in the background. ANGELA is in the kitchen preparing breakfast. GAVIN is seated at the table looking at his phone eating breakfast. JOSH comes down the…
It’s been a while since we’ve convened here. Sometimes life happens. Sometimes you just feel no motivation to write. And sometimes Josh Wolff kills your soccer loving soul. I’ve been at stage 3 for quite a while now and have no interest in fully relitigating the case against Josh Wolff. It’s pretty obvious to anyone…
Hello Austin FC faithful (because let’s be honest, that’s all who is left this season). As Austin are coming off a 2-1 loss to Toronto FC Saturday and take on LAFC at BMO Stadium (where Austin have lost their last three matches by a combined score of 8-0) and will be without three contributors (Sebastian…