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The 2024 MLS Pre-Match Top Rankings

Posted on November 11, 2024November 11, 2024 by Charles Peacock

Welcome dear readers to this year’s annual MLS Training Top Rankings where we debate and critique the league wide training kits. Fashion is an important part of the sport and because MLS teams only introduce one new kit person due to the lazy hard working folks at Adidas they make up for it by releasing…

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Josh Wolff’s MLS Playoff Travel Blog: Portland Timbers vs. Vancouver Whitecaps

Posted on October 24, 2024October 24, 2024 by Josh Wolff

Morning: Arrival and BreakfastI arrived in Vancouver on a flight from Montreal in the morning and rented a car. After arriving, I parked in a nondescript garage downtown. I needed coffee so I went the Prototype Coffee for breakfast. I ordered a plain bagel with cream cheese and a cup of coffee. Mid-Morning: A Walk…

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Josh Wolff’s MLS Playoff Travel Blog: Montreal vs. Atlanta United

Posted on October 23, 2024October 23, 2024 by Josh Wolff

For the first time in a very long time, I am without a job. After being fired by Austin FC I’ve decided to take advantage and do something for me. I will be traveling to various MLS playoff games and providing insight into the cities and the matches. I only agreed to this because The…

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Just Howling Around – Good Bye

Posted on October 6, 2024October 6, 2024 by Charles Peacock

EXT: view of a suburban house. INT: We see the kitchen and dining room table separated by a countertop. A staircase to the second story of the house is in the background. ANGELA is in the kitchen preparing breakfast. GAVIN is seated at the table looking at his phone eating breakfast.  JOSH comes down the…

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When Does The Pain Stop?

Posted on September 26, 2024September 26, 2024 by Uncle Tony P.

It’s been a while since we’ve convened here.  Sometimes life happens.  Sometimes you just feel no motivation to write.  And sometimes Josh Wolff kills your soccer loving soul. I’ve been at stage 3 for quite a while now and have no interest in fully relitigating the case against Josh Wolff.  It’s pretty obvious to anyone…

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What to Watch Instead of Austin FC: She’s the Man (2006)

Posted on September 18, 2024September 18, 2024 by Charles Peacock

Hello Austin FC faithful (because let’s be honest, that’s all who is left this season). As Austin are coming off a 2-1 loss to Toronto FC Saturday and take on LAFC at BMO Stadium (where Austin have lost their last three matches by a combined score of 8-0) and will be without three contributors (Sebastian…

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Chicken Prediction: Feeling Funky

Posted on September 14, 2024September 14, 2024 by Louis de Ludovico

Gentle reader, we are in a bad state. I’m not just talking about getting arrested for saying hot isn’t a spice. No, we are in a bad state because we are not a good team. Losing again at home is rough. This season has worn me out to the point of funk. Not the cool…

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The False Nine Chickens Predict Austin FC vs. Vancouver Whitecaps or “How we ran afowl of the law”

Posted on August 31, 2024August 31, 2024 by Charles Peacock

Needless to say, it’s been a week at The Compound and due to time constraint, I’m going to get right to it. It all started last weekend when a few of us visited Nashville for the Austin FC match at beautiful GEODIS Park. It was a lovely weekend with great weather, but unfortunately, Louis was…

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The Definitive Giveaway Rankings – Nashville SC edition

Posted on August 26, 2024August 26, 2024 by Charles Peacock

We don’t normally get to do this due to the lack of Giveaways during Austin FC road matches plus our general malaise at attending thanks to Austin’s 3-7-3 record on the road this season. But this weekend? We were delighted to find out that Nashville SC would have a giveaway and had to ensure we…

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The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index: 4ATX Foundation Fan (7/20/2024)

Posted on July 25, 2024July 25, 2024 by Charles Peacock

There are very few things in life better than getting something for free. It’s why the human race has engineered ways to fire hot dogs, t-shirts, and tacos out of a compressed air cannon.  We here at The False Nine, in our attempt to cover all aspects of Austin FC fandom, have come up with…

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The Latest

  • The 2024 MLS Pre-Match Top Rankings
  • Josh Wolff’s MLS Playoff Travel Blog: Portland Timbers vs. Vancouver Whitecaps
  • Josh Wolff’s MLS Playoff Travel Blog: Montreal vs. Atlanta United
  • Just Howling Around – Good Bye
  • When Does The Pain Stop?
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