The False 9
Menu
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Newsletter Sign Up
Menu

Chicken Prediction: Feeling Funky

Posted on September 14, 2024September 14, 2024 by Louis de Ludovico

Gentle reader, we are in a bad state. I’m not just talking about getting arrested for saying hot isn’t a spice. No, we are in a bad state because we are not a good team. Losing again at home is rough. This season has worn me out to the point of funk. Not the cool…

Read more

The False Nine Chickens Predict Austin FC vs. Vancouver Whitecaps or “How we ran afowl of the law”

Posted on August 31, 2024August 31, 2024 by Charles Peacock

Needless to say, it’s been a week at The Compound and due to time constraint, I’m going to get right to it. It all started last weekend when a few of us visited Nashville for the Austin FC match at beautiful GEODIS Park. It was a lovely weekend with great weather, but unfortunately, Louis was…

Read more

The Definitive Giveaway Rankings – Nashville SC edition

Posted on August 26, 2024August 26, 2024 by Charles Peacock

We don’t normally get to do this due to the lack of Giveaways during Austin FC road matches plus our general malaise at attending thanks to Austin’s 3-7-3 record on the road this season. But this weekend? We were delighted to find out that Nashville SC would have a giveaway and had to ensure we…

Read more

The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index: 4ATX Foundation Fan (7/20/2024)

Posted on July 25, 2024July 25, 2024 by Charles Peacock

There are very few things in life better than getting something for free. It’s why the human race has engineered ways to fire hot dogs, t-shirts, and tacos out of a compressed air cannon.  We here at The False Nine, in our attempt to cover all aspects of Austin FC fandom, have come up with…

Read more

Chaos

Posted on July 20, 2024July 20, 2024 by Louis de Ludovico

Chaos seems to be the name of the game lately for our beloved El FC. In a game that the verdeblack only needed a draw, our boys marched into Frisco and came out with a butt-thumpin’ loss. To add insult to injury, our (for reasons known but to Wolff) captain decided to lose his mind…

Read more

MLS Cheering Guide: Volume 4, Match Day 25

Posted on July 19, 2024July 19, 2024 by Uncle Tony P.

I’m tired y’all.  I’m tired of WolffIn/WolffOut.  I’m tired of watching Austin FC players make bonehead mistake after bonehead mistake.  I’m tired of being asked to pay the equivalent of a mortgage for a beer at Q2 Stadium.  It’s all just so exhausting with seemingly no reward on the other side. WAIT.  IT CAN’T BE! …

Read more

Rotten in Austin

Posted on July 16, 2024July 15, 2024 by Louis de Ludovico

To Wolff, or not to Wolff, that is the question: Whether ’tis nobler on the pitch to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous horseshoes, Or to take arms against a sea of losing And by opposing end them. To die—to sleep, No more; and by a sleep to say we end The heart-ache and…

Read more

The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index: Dell Technologies/Intel Bucket Hat

Posted on July 15, 2024July 15, 2024 by Charles Peacock

We here at The False Nine, in our attempt to cover all aspects of Austin FC fandom, have come up with a grading rubric to judge and rate giveaways at Q2 stadium. It’s a very simple system for very simple items, everything is graded 1-100 with 5 points possible for the Look, Usability, and Originality…

Read more

Chicken Prediction: Frustration

Posted on July 6, 2024July 6, 2024 by Louis de Ludovico

Josh Wolff is a good man and coach. However, he’s not the right coach for us at this moment. We need a change. #WolffOut

Read more

By the Numbers: Wolffball Retreat

Posted on July 2, 2024July 2, 2024 by Uncle Tony P.

Welp, here we go again.  Austin FC finds themselves on the wrong side of the playoff line after another poor run of form, having secured just four points in the last six games.  And as we here at The False 9 have been pointing out for nearly a year now, this is not new.  On…

Read more
  • Previous
  • 1
  • …
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • 7
  • 8
  • 9
  • …
  • 42
  • Next

The Latest

  • One-Third of the Way Home: A 2025 Austin FC Review (So Far)
  • The False Nine Travel Blog: Cincinnati
  • The Definitive Giveaway Rankings – FC Cincinnati edition
  • La Murga Report – Week of 5/3/2025 vs. Minnesota and El Paso
  • The False Nine Predicts: Austin FC vs. El Paso Locomotive

Archives

  • May 2025
  • April 2025
  • March 2025
  • February 2025
  • January 2025
  • November 2024
  • October 2024
  • September 2024
  • August 2024
  • July 2024
  • June 2024
  • May 2024
  • April 2024
  • March 2024
  • February 2024
  • January 2024
  • November 2023
  • October 2023
  • September 2023
  • August 2023
  • July 2023
  • June 2023
  • May 2023
  • April 2023
  • March 2023
  • February 2023
  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • August 2022
  • July 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
©2025 The False 9