Sports are beautiful. They are not just competitions between cities, countries, or random groups of people who show up at a field at a particular time, they are life and art. They provide stories of inspiration and the wonder of unique moments, the joys of victory and of being around thousands of your closest friends…
I’m Back Home (for now)
Gentle reader, I am home. Having spent the last several months deep in augural studies, my schedule has allowed me to return to the compound. You didn’t think I was gone, did you? Oh, gentle reader, I’m akin to a toe fungus: sometimes not visible, but always there. As I was taking a rickshaw from…
The False Nine Chickens Predict: Austin FC at San Jose
Summer has begun here in Austin TX with temperatures already rising to where we get multiple heat advisory texts from the city in a week. There is only one solution to beat the heat: Don’t go outside. But Charles, what about the chickens? Don’t they live outside? Have you forsaken them? First, that’s insulting, and…
MLS Cheering Guide: Volume 4, Match Day 15
We’re back with a holiday weekend MLS preview. Austin FC had a great week on and off the field, plus the rest of the league is wild.
The False Nine Investigates: Pending Reyna Bombs
This week Austin FC said good-bye to Emiliano Rigoni, first putting him on waivers and then buying out the remainder of his contract. The Argentinian attacker has unfortunately not lived up to the title of Designated Player for this team outside of a brilliant match winner against the Houston Dynamo on April 20. Thanks to…
The Chickens Predict: Austin FC vs. Sporting KC (5/18/2024)
Here at the Compound it’s been a week, the storms have done a number on the grounds, and we’ve been busy with preparations for a new endeavor: Chicken Racing. Yes, Chicken Racing, a noble sport that has been popularized in England. The annual World Hen Racing World championship takes place in the first weekend of…
The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index: Heineken Towel (5/15/2024 vs. Houston Dynamo)
We here at The False Nine, in our attempt to cover all aspects of Austin FC fandom, have come up with a grading rubric to judge and rate giveaways at Q2 stadium. It’s a very simple system for very simple items, everything is graded 1-100 with 5 points possible for the Look, Usability, and Originality…
MLS Cheering Guide: Volume 3, Week 12
Austin FC is going to Toyotathon in Frisco this weekend plus a look at all of the other MLS action on tap.
The False Nine Chickens Predict: Austin FC at Vancouver Whitecaps
Hello everyone, as I am sure all of you are aware, this season has been absymal… For the chickens ability to predict games. Sorry, that probably should have been one sentence, it really goes to show how out of sorts everything is here at the Compound. With only one match predicted correctly so far this…
MLS Cheering Guide: Volume 3, Week 11
Don’t look now, but Austin FC has won four of its last five matches, including a shutout of the Western Conference’s top scoring team. I’ll be honest with you: I’m shocked. This team looked like it would be lucky to average 1 PPG for the entire season after five weeks, but a healthy Driussi plus…