Austin FC struggled heading into the international break. So why should fans calm down and relish the team’s current position in the table?
What to do with an unwanted Chicken
As many of you are aware, we at The False Nine have been using seemingly gifted “Sighted” chickens to predict Austin FC matches. Unfortunately after this past weekend, the chickens’ ability to choose matches correctly was in question, as they’d dropped below .500 on the season (7-8 total) In a completely unrelated happenstance to one…
All You Need is Trust
I don’t get it. Our chakras were aligned, our auras had been cleansed, essential oils had been applied. We were so happy to see each other again. Predictions were made. Predictions, as it turned out, that were way off. I was at a loss. This had never happened before in all my career taking the…
Know Your Foe: L.A. Galaxy Part Deux
Welcome to the final match day for quite a while, Verde faithful. MLS is going on hiatus for a few weeks as an international break looms, meaning today’s game against the L.A. Galaxy needs to be a good one to keep the strong vibes rolling during the time off. Usually this space is reserved to…
Accumulation Deliberation or: Why Dani Pereira Should Take a Yellow in Carson
Daniel Pereira has a problem. The red card he saw at the palace of the royal family of Utah did nothing to help clear Dani’s yellow card accumulation. As he sits on four yellows coming into this afternoon’s contest in Carson, earning one more will result in an automatic one-match suspension under Major League Soccer…
Back in the Saddle
What a great time I had at the annual convention for chicken augurs, which is run by our professional organization, Continuation for Learning and Understanding Chicken Kinetics (CLUCK)! I sat in on some wonderful lectures, observed fantastic demonstrations, and traipsed about the vendor floor. I can’t tell you how disappointed I was that all pelleted…
MLS Cheering Guide – Match Day 14
It’s time for your weekly dose of MLS! The league has wisely decided to avoid scheduling any games for Saturday afternoon so that we can all enjoy the Fake Champions League Final (CLL for life!), meaning we have a Golden Corral style buffet of games for Saturday night to enjoy without the stress of an…
The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index – Glow in the Dark Bracelet (5/23/2022 vs. Orlando City)
This past weekend there was a giveaway at the Austin FC vs. Orlando City SC match, so you know we had to grab one and do the ranking. For those unfamiliar with the concept, Past rankings can be found here. It’s a very simple system for very simple items, everything is graded 1-100 with 5…
La Murga Report – 5/22/22 vs. Orlando
If you are unfamiliar with the concept of The False 9’s La Murga Report, click here. Pivoting By Necessity Careful observers of La Murga know by now that there is no predetermined setlist of which songs are played when. Instead, it is our understanding that songs are chosen in the spur of the moment based on…
The Chickens Rule the Roost
It’s been a rough few days. The chickens have been misbehaving. Had I known how difficult it would be I would have said no (or killed them for smoking purposes right after Louis left). Friday morning I got out of bed and immediately heard a crunch sound, an egg had been laid next to my…