You know how bears hibernate for the winter? It feels like Austin FC decided to do that but, in the summer, given the extreme heat. And honestly, I can’t blame the guys. It’s fuckin’ hot.
But also, A LOT has happened. Diego is gone. Memo is in. CJ Fodrey looks to have joined the first team. Leo may be back. Rodo put everyone on notice. And Josh Wolff is trying to be the guy from Ancient Aliens.
After the early exit from Leagues Cup, the Verde & Black are back for the final 11 game stretch of regular season MLS play. Up first, a trip to see Jared Stroud and St. Louis CITY on Sunday night. Excuse me for a second….
If you’ve followed this space all year, you know that Jared Stroud is public enemy #1 after his opening game shenanigans. Fuck him. Fuck that town’s crappy beer. Fuck their fried ravioli. Just…..fuck ‘em.
Standings wise, every match from here on out is big for Austin. Just check out the insanity for yourself.
Bring on the chaos.
This week, all league games are on Sunday. Saturday has been reserved for the Leo Messi Invitational final and 3rd place games.
MLS Sickos Game of the Week
Toronto FC vs Club de Foot Montreal (Apple TV – 6:30 p.m.)
Montreal is just one point below the playoff line with a game in-hand on D.C. Toronto just sucks. But, this is a real, nasty rivalry and Toronto would love nothing more than to make their Canadian brethren’s life just a little harder. It won’t be good soccer. It might be fun though.
6:30 p.m. Block (All Games on Apple TV – *denotes free match)
Columbus Crew vs FC Cincinnati* (Also on FS1)
New York Red Bulls vs D.C. United*
New York City FC vs Minnesota United
During the break, I found out that the MLS Next Pro rivalry match between Columbus and Cincinnati is appropriately named “Heck is Plausible”. And y’all, that’s genius. The actual Hell is Real derby gets set for round two this year and if this one is anywhere as good as the first one, a 3-2 Knifey-Lion victory, then we’re in for a treat. Columbus made some moves during the recent transfer window and could easily find themselves in the top four of the East by season’s end. Cincy’s march from three-time Wooden Spoon winner to Supporters’ Shield champs seems inevitable as they have a 8-point lead over New England with no signs of slowing down. We don’t care who wins this. Just enjoy what should be a fun two hours.
The Side: Don’t care, just want soccer on my TV.
ATX Impact Score: 0
7:30 p.m. Block (All Games on Apple TV)
Chicago Fire vs Orlando City
Houston Dynamo vs Portland Timbers
A true 6-pointer here as Portland travels to swamp-ass Houston to face the Dynamo. Houston sit in the 9th and final playoff spot with Portland just three points behind. In fact, just 6 points total separate 5th place Austin and 12th place Portland, which means other teams dropping points are a key for ATXFC to comfortably make the playoffs. Usually we’re a fuck Houston space, but times like these require practicality. Also of note, expect Houston to rotate here. They host RSL in the mid-week for the U.S. Open Cup semi-final.
The Side: Draw
ATXFC Impact Score: 4
9:30 p.m. Block (All Games on Apple TV)
L.A. Galaxy vs Real Salt Lake
LAFC vs Colorado Rapids
Seattle Sounders vs Atlanta United
Vancouver Whitecaps vs San Jose Earthquakes
Three games in the late block have significant Western Conference playoff implications.
We’ll start in Carson where our dear departed Diego will make his Galaxy debut against 3rd place RSL. Salt Lake made a nice Leagues Cup run before getting crushed by LAFC in the Round of 16. They probably have another knockout match on their mind with the aforementioned U.S. Open Cup match on the horizon and could see some rotation here. If so, a Galaxy win tightens up the top four.
The Side: Dieggggooooooo!!!
ATXFC Impact Score: 3.5
Seattle hosts Atlanta in a battle of evenly matched teams. The Sounders are sitting on 36 points and Atlanta has 35, though the boys from the Pacific Northwest find themselves in a much more comfortable playoff spot thanks to a mediocre Western Conference. This is an East vs West game, meaning our rooting interests are clear.
The Side: Five Stripes
ATXFC Impact Score: 3.75
Finally, we come to Vancouver hosting San Jose. The Quakes are one point above Vancouver in the standings, so we get another 6-pointer here. And like the other one, who do we want to drop points?
The Side: Be nice and tie-dy
ATXFC Impact Score: 4.5
Uncle Tony P.
Uncle Tony P. is a lifelong Austin FC supporter and overall handsome son of a bitch who always has a full supply of mustard on hand for his Verde friends.