May 10, 2023. What a glorious day for Austin, and therefore the world!
Not only did Austin FC win for the first time in almost two months, but RODNEY FREAKING REDES SCORED! Q2 Stadium may have only been about 80% full for the US Open Cup match against New Mexico United on Wednesday, but at that moment, it sounded like 100,000 people released the most joyous, euphoric, dare I say orgasmic, roar ever heard in North Austin.
I’ll have what they’re having.
After receiving a favorable draw yesterday, an Open Cup run is very much on the table for Austin, meaning that ATXFC will play four (and potentially five) straight weeks with a mid-week match. That’s a lot of rotation coming up…..next week. Because there is no damn way that Josh Wolff will rotate heavily before a rivalry match this weekend, right? RIGHT???? JOSH, ARE YOU READING THIS? DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE ROTATE SATURDAY NIGHT!!!
Oh yeah, it’s an early rivalry week around the rest of MLS too. Let’s get you caught up on the weekend slate.
MLS Sickos Game of the Week
Honestly, the slate this week is solid. Nothing stands out. Good job MLS.
Saturday Afternoon Naptime Special (Apple TV – Free)
Chicago Fire vs St. Louis CITY
Welcome to game two of St. Louis CITY’s epic weeklong road trip to the Windy City, where they have the unique opportunity to lose to a bad Fire squad twice, and in two different stadiums! Chicago knocked CITY out of the U.S. Open Cup on Tuesday at SeatGeek Stadium in Bridgeview and can complete the sweep with another surprising victory at Soldier Field Saturday afternoon. Which would be doubly hilarious because:
- Screw you Jared Stroud
- Chicago fired (no pun intended) its gaffer on Monday!!!
Make that happen Fire.
The Side: The team from a certain city that starts with a C, ends with an O, and has Hicag in the middle.
6:30 p.m. Block (All games on Apple TV, *denotes free match)
CF Montreal vs Toronto FC
Atlanta United vs FC Charlotte*
Columbus Crew vs Orlando City
D.C. United vs Nashville SC
Inter Miami CF vs New England Revolution*
New York Red Bulls vs NYCFC
You may be asking, “Uncle Tony P, of all of these early games, why are you suggesting that I watch the only one featuring two teams below the playoff line?” And I will tell you “Because its arguably the nastiest rivalry in MLS plus they just played a heated Canadian Cup match this week that prompted these statements.”
Oh yeah, lots of crazy stuff happened. Including a capo throwing a megaphone AT HIS OWN TEAM after the game. Whoooo boy this could be entertaining as a neutral.
The Side: Crack a beer and enjoy the insanity
7:30 p.m. Block (All games on Apple TV)
Houston Dynamo vs Seattle Sounders
Sporting Kansas City vs Minnesota United FC
Houston has not lost at home all year. More than that, Houston has not allowed a single goal at home all year.
Now comes their toughest home test to date as a pissed off Seattle rolls into town. The Sounders shockingly lost at home on Sunday to Sporting KC, then got pasted in a midweek US Open Cup match at the Galaxy. This should be a really solid match, but you know who we’re rooting for here.
The Side: Oh what fun it is to play when Seattle wins away!
8:30 p.m. Block (All games on Apple TV, *denotes free match)
Colorado Rapids vs Philadelphia Union
Real Salt Lake vs LAFC*
I’m putting both of these games on the watch list because there are some direct implications for Austin here. Colorado and RSL sit directly above Verde in the standings, so a loss by both clubs coupled with an ATXFC win this weekend will vault Austin over them. Luckily for us, both clubs drew very tough matchups at home as the two MLS finalists from last year travel to the Rocky Mountains.
The Sides: Chalk is good right now
9:30 p.m. Block (All games on Apple TV, *denotes free match)
Portland Timbers vs Vancouver Whitecaps*
Another game with some potential direct impact on us. Austin enters the weekend in 12th place in the West. If Austin FC wins + Portland, Colorado, and RSL all lose, Austin will exit the weekend in 9th place. Why is 9th place important? That’s the playoff line. Yeah, its only game 11, but we gotta start getting points to be in the conversation later. And we need teams close to us in the table to drop them when they can. A draw here for Portland would be fine too though, because the ‘Caps aren’t much further up the standings.
The Side: Portland dropping points please
Sunday Night MLS After Dark – (Apple TV/FS1)
LA Galaxy vs San Jose Earthquakes
The California Clasico returns for a little Sunday night fun. The Galaxy are tied with Sporting KC for the fewest points in the league. San Jose are, dare I say, pretty damn good and would love to pull the LA double after taking down LAFC last weekend. I just want chaos in this one.
The Side: Full MLS After Dark
Uncle Tony P.
Uncle Tony P. is a lifelong Austin FC supporter and overall handsome son of a bitch who always has a full supply of mustard on hand for his Verde friends.