It’s that time of the year again. MLS will tell you it’s rivalry week, but we here at the False 9 know its something much more important. Besides, what other reason would our beloved boys in Verde travel to Frisco for?
That’s right folks. It’s time for……
Frisco, Texas: Come for the Toyota deals, stay for the shitty soccer team.
In all seriousness, this is about as “must win” as it gets early in the year for Austin. The Toros are terrible and just played a competitive midweek U.S. Open Cup match on Tuesday. No excuses here. ATXFC has to come home with all three points.
And now for the rest of MLS…
Saturday, May 11
Atlanta United vs D.C. United – 6:30 p.m. (Apple TV)
Neither team is particularly good. But they both tend to score goals in bunches. If nothing else, it’s a fun game between mediocre squads.
Charlotte FC vs Nashville SC – 6:30 p.m. (Apple TV)
Nashville remains a pretty bad team but have found four points in their last two matches. However, they’ve only garnered one point on the road all season, which doesn’t bode well against a Charlotte team that is decent at home.
CF Montreal vs Inter Miami – 6:30 p.m. (Apple TV)
Messi played for a few years in Paris recently. Sending him for a game in French Canada seems like the next best thing.
New York Red Bulls vs New England Revolution – 6:30 p.m. (Apple TV)
The Red Bulls are pretty good. New England is very bad. That’s all you need to know.
Philadelphia Union vs Orlando City – 6:30 p.m. (Apple TV)
It’s been a month since Philadelphia won a match, despite averaging nearly two goals per game in that time. A home match against a bad Orlando team is just what the doctor ordered to get right.
Columbus Crew vs FC Cincinnati – 6:45 p.m. (FS1 / Apple TV)
So instead of putting a premier rivalry match on in the afternoon unopposed with other MLS matches, the league found it to be a wise idea for this game to kick off on national TV at the same time as everyone else.
As for the game itself, Hell is Real always delivers and the rematch of last year’s Eastern Conference Finals should be no different. The Knifey-Lions are once again near the top of the East and Columbus is fifth, but they’ve been rightfully distracted with making the CCC finals in unprecedented fashion.
Game of the weekend. Settle in and enjoy.
Sporting KC vs Houston Dynamo – 7:30 p.m. (Apple TV)
Sporting KC scores a lot and allows gives up a lot. Houston is the exact inverse of that. The moveable forces meets the stoppable object.
St Louis CITY vs Chicago Fire – 7:30 p.m. (Apple TV)
St. Louis has played 10 matches so far and have drawn an astounding 7!!! That’s absurd. Chicago remains hopeless and LOL they lost to New England last week!
Colorado Rapids vs San Jose Earthquakes – 8:30 p.m. (Apple TV)
<Me every week> HAHA San Jose is terrible.
<San Jose plays LAFC>
I have no idea how LAFC lost to the Quakes, but they did and it’s hilarious. MLS BABY! I think San Jose comes crashing back to earth this week though, as the Rapids continue to be the most fun underdog story in the league.
LA Galaxy vs Real Salt Lake – 9:30 p.m. (Apple TV)
This game has all the makings of MLS After Dark. Late kickoff. Two teams that score a lot of goals. Top of the table clash. Give it to me now!!!
LAFC vs Vancouver Whitecaps – 9:30 p.m. (Apple TV)
I still think Vancouver is a good team despite last week’s scoreless home draw against ATX. But to be a really good team, they have to start finding road points at places where they have traditionally struggled like BMO Stadium. If you’re gonna get LAFC, get them now before sexy summer reinforcements arrive.
Sunday, May 12
Portland Timbers vs Seattle Sounders – 3:45 p.m. (FOX / Apple TV)
Both teams are dreadful. But its Portland/Seattle, its on Sunday, and nothing else will be on TV. Let’s be honest, we’re going to watch.
Uncle Tony P.
Uncle Tony P. is a lifelong Austin FC supporter and overall handsome son of a bitch who always has a full supply of mustard on hand for his Verde friends.