Howdy everyone! I hope you all had a great 4th of July holiday and enjoyed that absolute banger of an El Trafico that should have been on regular TV. But as you all know, Don Garber can be an idiot and galaxy brained himself out of fantastic exposure.
On the home front, our beloved Verde & Black attack head north to Minnesota-doncha-know to take on the Loons in the 2nd of 3 straight road tilts. Teemu Pukki may make his MLS debut in this one and Emanuel Reynoso looks to be all the way back after scoring twice last week. A point here would be excellent. However, when these two teams get together, you know what to expect: CASSEROLE GAME!!!
Yeah, it usually is Marge. I’m already constipated thinking about these 90 minutes. How about we cleanse ourselves with the rest of the league.
MLS Sickos Game of the Week
Colorado Rapids vs FC Dallas (8:30 p.m. – Apple TV)
You may remember that last week I mentioned Dallas had a lot of things going against them right now with injuries and international duties. Well after beating LAFC at home, they found a way to lose to D.C. United a few days later and have now lost 3 of their last 4 games. In fact, they have picked up just 6 points total over their last 7 contests. Now they take that form to Colorado to face the worst club in the league in Colorado. The Rapids haven’t won a league match since May 6th. This is gonna be bad and you should feel bad if you watch it.
6:30 p.m. Block (All games on Apple TV – *Denotes Free Match)
Columbus Crew vs NYCFC*
D.C. United vs Inter Miami
Club de Foot Montreal vs Atlanta United
New York Red Bulls vs New England Revolution
Toronto FC vs St Louis CITY
FC Charlotte vs FC Cincinnati*
None of these games have a direct impact on Austin, so it’s a good chance to watch the best team in MLS. If you don’t know, Cincinnati is tearing up the league. They already have 44 points, which is probably good enough to qualify for the playoffs without playing another game. But their two losses this year have been WTF road games and they are currently on their longest winless streak of the season: 2. Basically, you should pay attention to the Knifey-Lions any time you can. They’re fucking good.
7:30 p.m. Block (All games on Apple TV – *Denotes Free Match)
Chicago Fire vs Nashville SC
Houston Dynamo vs Sporting Kansas City*
Houston hosts a KC team that has charged to within one point of the playoffs after an abysmal start. The Dynamo have been fantastic at home all year, losing just once, and Sporting have been terrible when getting too far away from Nebraska Furniture Mart. Seeing as Austin is sandwiched between these clubs in the standings, we could really use a draw here.
The Side: Drawing more than Houston does fans
ATXFC Impact Rating: 4.5
8:30 p.m. Block (All games on Apple TV – *Denotes Free Match)
Real Salt Lake vs Orlando City*
Not sure if you’ve been paying attention, but RSL has been making some serious moves! First, they acquired Chicho Arango after his short stay with Pachuca and he makes his debut Saturday. RSL is also apparently in talks with USMNT left-back George Bello and have signed a U-22 player in Colombian midfielder Nelson Palacio. They are 4th in the West and I think there’s a real shot they could finish in the top 2-3. We could use RSL dropping points in this cross-conference matchup. Felipe, do your dark magic for us.
The Side: Felipe, Master of the Dark Arts & his companions in Orlando
ATXFC Impact Rating: 3.5
9:30 p.m. Block (All games on Apple TV – *Denotes Free Match)
LA Galaxy vs Philadelphia Union*
LAFC vs San Jose Earthquakes*
Vancouver Whitecaps vs Seattle Sounders
LAFC are on the struggle bus y’all. All of their games in-hand are gone and they find themselves losers of three straight and 5-of-7 overall. They now sit in 3rd with 32 points, which is just 6 points ahead of 8th place Austin. San Jose has been solid all year and right in the thick of the playoff race with 28 points. These two teams played a fantastic game in May decided by a 95th minute Carlos Vela penalty. Expecting more of the same, but if we could get the draw, that would be best.
The other game to pay attention to is a Cascadia Cup match in Vancouver. The Caps are in 9th place, one point behind ATXFC. Seattle are in second tied on points with LAFC. Ultimately, it’s more important for Austin to get some breathing room from those teams below us. Go Sounders.
The Sides: California Dreaming of Ties & Seattle’s Best
ATXFC Impact Rating: 4
Uncle Tony P.
Uncle Tony P. is a lifelong Austin FC supporter and overall handsome son of a bitch who always has a full supply of mustard on hand for his Verde friends.