Yeah, yeah, yeah, Wednesday night sucked. But I’m hear to lay a hard truth on everyone: It’s time to move on. Austin FC enters tonight’s match in 2nd place in the Western Conference and 3rd place in the race for the Supporter’s Shield. The MLS season is 20% over, and while there is certainly a long way to go, early indications are that the Verde & Black may well be poised for a playoff push this fall. So let’s get to know tonight’s opponent, Vancouver Whitecaps FC.
Vancouver Fast Facts
MLS Debut: 2011
Current Record: 1-5-1 (4 pts)
Finish Last Season: 6th West (46 pts)
Trophies: 1 (Canadian Championship)
Wooden Spoons: 0
Names You May Know: Lucas Cavallini, Ryan Gauld, Sebastian Berhalter
Famous Vancouver Folks: Michael J. Fox, Ryan Reynolds, Larry Walker, Sarah Chalke, Bryan Adams
What is Vancouver’s claim to fame?
What, besides being a beautiful city set between the mountains and the sea? You wanted more than that?! Fine. It’s got to be the film industry. Besides the many actors and actresses that have come from there, the city has been the shooting location for a lot of TV shows and films. Some have been good, like Elf, Juno, Happy Gilmore, Bates Motel, 21 Jump Street (the original TV series), and The Neverending Story (fuck yeah!!!).
Others, quite frankly, have been less than good. Lookin’ right at you The A Team (remake), MacGyver (remake), Twilight, and 50 Shades of Grey.
Why does Vancouver have Canada’s largest pool?
The better question is, why does anyone in Canada have a pool? It’s fucking Canada! The place is a cold tundra for half of the year. In Vancouver, the average summer temperature is 72 degrees. Not exactly pool weather, eh.
Final Match Day Hate Rating
I’m going to level with you. I like Vancouver. It’s a gorgeous city with nice people. I dig their soccer kits. I love the town’s vibe. So trust me Caps’ fans when I say the following about tonight’s match:
Uncle Tony P.
Uncle Tony P. is a lifelong Austin FC supporter and overall handsome son of a bitch who always has a full supply of mustard on hand for his Verde friends.