It’s Match Day 4 and Q2 Stadium will once again be on the national stage as the boys in Verde and Black take on a perennial league power: the Seattle Sounders. Lets get to know more about our visitors.
Seattle Sounders Fast Facts
- MLS Debut: 2009
- Current Record: 1-2-0 (3 pts)
- Finish Last Season: 2nd West (60 pts)
- Nickname: Pretty obvious
- Trophies: 7 (4 US Open Cups, 2 MLS Cups, 1 Supporters Shield)
- Wooden Spoons: 0
- Names You May Know: Raúl Ruidíaz, Jordan Morris, Nouhou Tolo, The Roldán Bros.
- Notable Famous Natives: Kenny G., Jimi Hendrix, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Rainn Wilson*
*Now that I think of it, Rainn Wilson as Dwight from The Office has a striking resemblance to Seattle coach Brian Schmetzer. Look at this and tell me that’s not a young Schmetzer! Oh, and they are both of German descent too?! Screw it. Brian Schmetzer sold paper in a previous life. This is MLS cannon now.
What is Seattle’s biggest claim to fame?
We got a lot to choose from here folks. Its the home of grunge music, tech companies, Boeing, and the only place where its socially acceptable to throw fish in public. But I’m going to say the biggest claim to fame may be the unleashing of BDSM into mainstream culture. Never has a city made it as OK for horny middle-aged women everywhere to give into their inner kink like the thought of Seattle and 50 Shades of Gray. To the play room everyone!
By the way, why is popular fiction in Seattle always some version of Gray? Grey’s Anatomy? Seattle. 50 Shades of Gray? Seattle. They do get some sun there too. It’s quite nice.
What is Seattle’s biggest export?
Overpriced coffee. I blame this all on you, Seattle. You allowed Starbucks to creep into other parts of the world and now we have to pay $5 for mediocre coffee and we can’t even order a damn medium or large anymore. This shit does not make sense.
Who is Seattle’s biggest fan?
Probably this guy.
Final Match Day Hate Rating
Look, we shouldn’t hate them. There’s a respect that Seattle has earned for being the most consistent team in MLS and having a very good fan base. But if they come in here and beat us with some damn teenagers again, its time to have a serious discussion about where these guys fall on the hate spectrum.
Uncle Tony P.
Uncle Tony P. is a lifelong Austin FC supporter and overall handsome son of a bitch who always has a full supply of mustard on hand for his Verde friends.