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Author: Uncle Tony P.

Uncle Tony P. is a lifelong Austin FC supporter and overall handsome son of a bitch who always has a full supply of mustard on hand for his Verde friends.

MLS Cheering Guide: Volume 3, Week 2

Posted on March 1, 2024March 1, 2024 by Uncle Tony P.

Saturday, March 2nd Real Salt Lake vs LAFC – 1:00 p.m. CT (Apple TV)I can give you soccer reasons to watch this game.  But why do that when it is very likely going to be complete chaos thanks to the weather?! 65 MPH wind gusts!!!!  Calling it right now: a keeper is going to try…

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TF9 Wrestling Fantasy Books Verdisimo

Posted on February 27, 2024February 27, 2024 by Uncle Tony P.

August 6th, 2022.  Verdisimo, our resident Austin FC Luchador, was brought into existence. Like a true wrestling hero, he arrived with fanfare and was immediately pushed, as we say in the business, with 7 points in four games including an incredible comeback against Sporting KC where the team twice kicked out of the opposition’s best…

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MLS Cheering Guide: Volume 3, Week 1

Posted on February 21, 2024February 21, 2024 by Uncle Tony P.

Hello you MLS Sickos!  Somehow Austin FC avoided relegation last year so we’re back for year number four in this zany ass league.  Speaking of, I should probably get you caught up on a few things: Usually in this space we do a “cheering guide”, where I try to make informed decisions on who we…

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The 2024 Season Preview Roundtable

Posted on February 18, 2024February 18, 2024 by Uncle Tony P.

The False 9 Staff is here to preview the 2024 MLS season for Austin FC. Can they make the playoffs? And what is Rodo cooking?

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MLS Cheering Guide – The Penultimate Week

Posted on October 6, 2023October 6, 2023 by Uncle Tony P.

You can always count on Sweet Lou Brown to put things into perspective when needed. I lead with this because for all intents and purposes, Austin FC needs to win three straight matches to even have a chance at sneaking into the playoffs. Step one has been accomplished with the 3-0 beatdown of Wayne Rooney’s…

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Josh Wolff Needs To Lose His Job

Posted on September 25, 2023September 25, 2023 by Uncle Tony P.

I’m angry. You should be too.

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MLS Cheering Guide – But Not Really

Posted on September 22, 2023September 22, 2023 by Uncle Tony P.

450 minutes to save the season.  That’s what is left in front of Austin FC to try and salvage something, anything, out of this disastrous 2023 campaign. Normally in this space, we try to have some fun and keep you abreast of what’s happening around MLS and tell you, the adoring Austin FC supporter, who…

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MLS Cheering Guide – Match Day 27

Posted on September 1, 2023September 1, 2023 by Uncle Tony P.

Remember how I said the Frisco match last week was “To the pain” a la Princess Bride?  Apparently, we didn’t go far enough in our consideration of pain after experiencing another heartbreaking defeat Wednesday against Seattle. Austin scored 2 goals and should have had at least a draw.  I don’t give a shit what MLS…

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MLS Midweek Madness – Match Day 26

Posted on August 30, 2023August 29, 2023 by Uncle Tony P.

Saturday night felt like that scene in The Princess Bride where Westley describes what a battle to the pain means. Like, yeah, we aren’t dead in the water. But mother fucker that one hurt. There’s no time to wallow in our sorrows though as the Verde & Black play their first home match in a…

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MLS Cheering Guide – Week 25

Posted on August 25, 2023August 25, 2023 by Uncle Tony P.

Verde family, I gotta tell you, I’m pissed off.  Not necessarily at the 6-3 shellacking last weekend in swampy St. Louis.  Yes, it sucked, and I did not enjoy it at all, but its MLS and that shit happens on occasion.  The reason I’m pissed off is because I missed out on obvious free money…

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