My beloved hens and I are usually a stoic bunch. Excitement for us is when Tomlinson’s has ethcially-sourced, pelleted feed on sale. But, our normal, unflappable selves were tested as El FC lost to the Carson Galaxy. The chickens predicted a 1-1 draw and were probably right. Seriously. Look at that xG! Without a doubt,…
What a week! I can feel the blood pulsating through me, granting me life with every throb. In fact, all four of my humors are perfectly in balance. Nothing phlegmatic or choleric over here. Fresh from our trip to the somewhat beautiful Foxwoods, my precious hens and I are living in perfect harmony. The chickens…
Last week was one to remember. Of highest importance was me welcoming the newest chicken to our compound. Everyone fell in love with Wolfie and her impeccable prognosticating ways. Of lesser note was El FC’s excellent win vs. some ragtag group of beaver pelt trading (probably) Canucks. Despite my instant love for Wolfie, both San…
What an eventful week we’ve had at the compound! After our noteworthy group trip to San Antone, our chickens, San Julius and Rodney, requested a break. They needed a moment to mentally recover from the debacle in the US Open Cup and time to emotionally convalesce from hotboxing with Andrea Provelone. What upsets me most…
(Nota Bene: You are reading an historic document. This is the first post in which every False 9 staff writer wrote a section of the post.) Still reveling in Saturday’s epic win, we felt it was necessary to take a day off and recharge our emotional batteries. When Andrea Provolone recalled the success of our…
Flush in her prescience of picking an ugly 1-0 win last week, Rodney decided to take a bit of a break. Honestly, my life is devoid of meaning without my hens. I just can’t take being apart from them. So, I began searching for San Julius. Last night, I had heard some crazy sounds from…
San Julius and I took a punch to the gut last week from which we’ve yet to recover. Who could’ve imagined Wolff’s professional goal was to mimic the 1993 Houston Oilers dramatic collapse vs the Buffalo Bills? Seriously, I am a chicken savant and our hens are good at what they do. However, not even…
In an effort to escape Austin and its oppressive March heat and humidity, San Julius and I decided to go on a little outing to the Bay Area. To San Jose, specifically, so that we might also do some recon for the upcoming El FC match. We decided to book our flight. On my first…
I’m really proud of a phrase I once wrote: The times, they are a changing. Indeed they are. We are in the midst of an international break. We are running on an El FC deficit. This has led to not a small amount of conflicts here at the compound. So, we decided to approach our…
Flush with the success of her pick last week , yet fearful for her safety, San Julius decided a little break from the public would be in her best interests. She understands that her uncanny ability to view the future is her meal ticket, but doesn’t want to become someone’s meal. With that in mind,…