Listen, gentle reader. I messed up last match’s prediction. I knew it all along. It’s so predictable. I knew something like my prediction would go wrong (something’s always wrong). So you don’t have to call or say anything at all. It’s so predictable (so predictable). I mean, everyone’s been calling. Like I’ve been gone for…
San Julius, Wolfie, and I were faffing about the compound yesterday. Truth be told, despite the bucolic setting of our house on Town Lake, with its gentle water-borne breezes, it gets hotter than H-E double hockey sticks. (Fun fact: the hottest days of the year are called the “Dog days of summer” because Sirius, the…
I’ll be honest with you, gentle readers. I’m happier than Mario Götze on a boat (for the love of all that is good, do not do a google image search of that phrase from your work computer or with anyone else around). Yes, it has been a challenging few weeks. I lost a beloved hen….
I don’t get it. Our chakras were aligned, our auras had been cleansed, essential oils had been applied. We were so happy to see each other again. Predictions were made. Predictions, as it turned out, that were way off. I was at a loss. This had never happened before in all my career taking the…
What a great time I had at the annual convention for chicken augurs, which is run by our professional organization, Continuation for Learning and Understanding Chicken Kinetics (CLUCK)! I sat in on some wonderful lectures, observed fantastic demonstrations, and traipsed about the vendor floor. I can’t tell you how disappointed I was that all pelleted…
My beloved hens and I are usually a stoic bunch. Excitement for us is when Tomlinson’s has ethcially-sourced, pelleted feed on sale. But, our normal, unflappable selves were tested as El FC lost to the Carson Galaxy. The chickens predicted a 1-1 draw and were probably right. Seriously. Look at that xG! Without a doubt,…
What a week! I can feel the blood pulsating through me, granting me life with every throb. In fact, all four of my humors are perfectly in balance. Nothing phlegmatic or choleric over here. Fresh from our trip to the somewhat beautiful Foxwoods, my precious hens and I are living in perfect harmony. The chickens…
Last week was one to remember. Of highest importance was me welcoming the newest chicken to our compound. Everyone fell in love with Wolfie and her impeccable prognosticating ways. Of lesser note was El FC’s excellent win vs. some ragtag group of beaver pelt trading (probably) Canucks. Despite my instant love for Wolfie, both San…
What an eventful week we’ve had at the compound! After our noteworthy group trip to San Antone, our chickens, San Julius and Rodney, requested a break. They needed a moment to mentally recover from the debacle in the US Open Cup and time to emotionally convalesce from hotboxing with Andrea Provelone. What upsets me most…
(Nota Bene: You are reading an historic document. This is the first post in which every False 9 staff writer wrote a section of the post.) Still reveling in Saturday’s epic win, we felt it was necessary to take a day off and recharge our emotional batteries. When Andrea Provolone recalled the success of our…