Tik Martins lived a wild and scandalous life prior to his time at Austin FC.
Author: Andrea Provolone
Health, wellness and lifestyle analyst. Good on most sandwiches.
Fagundez Sucks Life Force From Willing Donors Prior To Vancouver Matchup
After a grueling 120 minute performance on Wednesday night, most of Austin would have been correct in assuming Diego Fagundez was due to sit out at least a large portion of Saturday night’s match against the Vancouver whitecaps. What unsuspecting Austinites did not know was that upon their arrival back home on Wednesday night, dozens…
Pollo And The Miracle In DC
Washington DC This evening as over 300 eager Austin FC fans streamed into Audi Field, a tragedy struck. Our beloved and fearless leader Pollo was detained by stadium security. The masses begged and pleaded with the horde of Paul Blarts to release him at once. Pollo gaped at them as if to say “Do you…
Dynamo Gets Artful “Attendance Boost” From Inspired Employee
Houston, TX As ticket sales boom for some teams across MLS, others are feeling the pressure to dial up the intrigue in hopes of drumming up interest. While moves have been made since new ownership took over to get bodies in seats, these things can take time. “We wanted to take a cue from Major…
Austin FC Players As Pro Wrestlers
This past weekend was a 2-day long Wrestlemania event in “Dallas”. The spandex, the moves, the questionably large bulges, the athleticism, the oiliness. I found myself inspired and pondering what it would look like if each Austin FC player had a unique in-ring name, finishing move, weakness and entrance music. Here’s a few of my…
Yoga Pose Of The Match 03/20/2022 Vs. Seattle
This week’s Yoga Pose Of The Match is sure to get you through the hot and sticky weekend ahead of us. I give you: ”The Kick-N-Pick” Thank you to Zach Lyons for his photographic artistry. For more of Zach’s work, check out his Twitter and Instagram.
Austin FC Players As Disney Pixar Characters
Austin FC Players As Disney Pixar Characters
Austin FC Players As Boy Band Members
Austin FC Players And Their Boy Band Equivalents
