The False 9
Menu
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Newsletter Sign Up
Menu

Fagundez Sucks Life Force From Willing Donors Prior To Vancouver Matchup

Posted on April 23, 2022April 23, 2022 by Andrea Provolone

After a grueling 120 minute performance on Wednesday night, most of Austin would have been correct in assuming Diego Fagundez was due to sit out at least a large portion of Saturday night’s match against the Vancouver whitecaps. What unsuspecting Austinites did not know was that upon their arrival back home on Wednesday night, dozens of donors waited outside the bus readily offering up their life force for Diego’s recovery. 

“We weren’t sure we had the ability to do it, but thanks to some modifications to our cryotherapy chambers and a few Tesla batteries, we got it up and running fast.” A source with the club told us. 

Fagundez offering up a prayer of thanks to his many donors who surround him.

A lights-out 79 minute performance on Saturday against the Whitecaps certainly confirms this story’s authenticity. It’s either that or this guy is an absolute endurance God who borderlines on psychopathic behavior. He might even be addicted to the feeling of leg tremors.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

©2026 The False 9