Have you recovered from Saturday yet? No? Yeah, me either. But this week there’s no time for an extended celebration as Austin FC enters it’s first ever U.S. Open Cup. Luckily it won’t be a long journey as the Verde & Black make the 85 mile, 4 hour 20 minute drive to San Antonio to take on USL side San Antonio FC.
San Antonio FC Fast Facts
- USL Debut: 2016
- Record: 5-1-0 (15 pts, 3rd West)
- Finish Last Season: 2nd West (52 pts)
- Trophies: 0
- Names You Should Know: David Loera, Mohammed Abu, Matthew Cardone
- Famous San Antonio Folks: Jared Padalecki, Carol Burnett, Chris Perez, Bruce “D-Day” McGill
What is San Antonio’s claim to fame?
A tiny mission that is somehow famous for the occupants losing. Sure, sure, “Remember the Alamo” and all that jazz. Here’s what I know: Bowie, Travis, Crockett and the boys got their asses kicked. And now that very piece of land that they fought so hard for is surrounded by a Ripley’s Believe It or Not, a really bad Louis Tussaud’s Wax Museum (because Madame Tussaud isn’t stepping foot in that town), and a Guinness World Record exhibit. Oh, and when you’re done with all of that, you can walk a few minutes to a famous local restaurant called the Rainforest Cafe. Tracy Tree will tell you everything you need to know upon arrival.
Why do they have a Riverwalk that goes nowhere?
Quite simply, the San Antonio Riverwalk may be the best marketing scheme of the last 50 years. Somehow, against all odds, that city has convinced tourists to consistently fly to the middle of Texas so that they can walk in a loop along a smelly “river”, all for the privilege of paying for over-priced food and booze. There are actual, good things about San Antonio like the amazing tacos (sorry ATX, but it’s true). Why the city’s tourism office likes to boast about the shittiest parts of the city is beyond me.
In fact, if you go to the VisitSanAntonio.com, one of the things they tell you do is check out the Hill Country. That’s right: they are actively telling you, visitor of San Antonio, to leave town in order to enjoy yourself.
Why does San Antonio think Austin took it’s MLS team?
Because people don’t know history. San Antonio fans (and others in MLS) will point towards the back and forth with MLS Commissioner Don Garber in 2016 and 2017, where it looked like the Alamo City may have a chance at getting a team. Instead, Austin was awarded an expansion franchise.
But folks, let’s go back a decade earlier. In 2005, MLS was ready for San Antonio. And to steal a phrase from Vince McMahon: San Antonio screwed San Antonio.
Don’t believe me? Read about here. And here. I genuinely hope San Antonio gets an MLS franchise in the future. It would be a fun rivalry. Just don’t blame ATX for the delay.
Final Match Day Hate Rating
No real hate here. We’ve never played them and this game means more to San Antonio fans than to us, because, reasons. But beware SAFC. You may get more than you asked for tonight.
Uncle Tony P.
Uncle Tony P. is a lifelong Austin FC supporter and overall handsome son of a bitch who always has a full supply of mustard on hand for his Verde friends.
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