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Month: June 2022

Post Bonus Match Mailbag

Posted on June 19, 2022June 19, 2022 by Charles Peacock

It is once again time to open up the mailbag, this time post a huge road win for Austin FC which propelled them into third in the West (with a game in hand over the Salt Lake Royals) and heading into a big showdown with playoff and Copa Tejas implications against FC Dallas next weekend….

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The Great White North

Posted on June 17, 2022June 17, 2022 by Louis de Ludovico

I’ll be honest with you, gentle readers. I’m happier than Mario Götze on a boat (for the love of all that is good, do not do a google image search of that phrase from your work computer or with anyone else around). Yes, it has been a challenging few weeks. I lost a beloved hen….

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The False Nine in your Inbox!

Posted on June 16, 2022June 16, 2022 by Charles Peacock

In order to better serve you, our readers, we have created a weekly newsletter that will deliver all of your regular favorite and least favorite posts into your inbox. To do so please sign up and confirm your e-mail below.

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MLS Cheering Guide – Week 15

Posted on June 16, 2022June 16, 2022 by Uncle Tony P.

After an absurdly long international break, the insanity that is MLS comes roaring back in full force with 14 games slated for the weekend.  Sure, some teams played actual league games during the break, but those were largely one-offs thanks to World Cup qualifying and Nations League matches galore.  This week there are no outliers…

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Let’s make away matches more affordable for MLS Fans

Posted on June 15, 2022June 15, 2022 by Travis McTravelFace

We decided to do something we never done before and partnered with The Striker Texas to publish this piece. While all of you should be subscribers to the Striker (since they are good at doing their thing, just as we aim to be good at doing our thing), we did want to put this piece…

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Austin FC Players as Build-A-Bears

Posted on June 8, 2022June 8, 2022 by Andrea Provolone

With the recent addition of Tik Martins to our roster, some attention has been turned towards his homeland of Build-A-Bear workshop. Have you ever browsed the endless options that place has? Sky is the limit! And by sky, I mean your wallet. Want to send your Build-A-Bear to medical school so he can wear a…

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Playoff Potential: Actually, Now Might Be a Good Time To Panic

Posted on June 3, 2022June 3, 2022 by H.E. Pennypacker

Yesterday, my esteemed colleague Uncle Tony P. laid out the case for why Austin FC fans should remain calm after the team’s first rocky patch of the season. It was a perfectly reasonable take, backed by data, and argued well enough that even the most skittish among us probably felt their blood pressure drop a…

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Playoff Potential: What Does History Tell Us About ATXFC’s Post-Season Chances?

Posted on June 2, 2022June 2, 2022 by Uncle Tony P.

Austin FC struggled heading into the international break. So why should fans calm down and relish the team’s current position in the table?

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What to do with an unwanted Chicken

Posted on June 1, 2022June 1, 2022 by Charles Peacock

As many of you are aware, we at The False Nine have been using seemingly gifted “Sighted” chickens to predict Austin FC matches.  Unfortunately after this past weekend, the chickens’ ability to choose matches correctly was in question, as they’d dropped below .500 on the season (7-8 total) In a completely unrelated happenstance to one…

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