It’s 4/20 this weekend, so we’ve put together a half-baked preview for the rest of MLS because Austin FC is mostly pain.
MLS Cheering Guide: Volume 3, Week 8
Welcome back friends! I have one message for Austin FC this week. Now to the rest of MLS. Saturday, April 13th Portland Timbers vs LAFC – 3:45 p.m. (FOX/Apple TV)The Timbers are kind of like Austin: not very good, but sometimes very entertaining. Wouldn’t be shocked if they win here though as LAFC is 0-for-3…
La Murga Report – 4/6/24 vs. San Jose
The match-by-match report on La Murga de Austin’s setlist and an analysis of which songs correspond to goals scored or conceded by Austin FC.
The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index: HEB Re-usable Grocery Bag (4/6/2024)
We here at The False Nine, in our attempt to cover all aspects of Austin FC fandom, have come up with a grading rubric to judge and rate giveaways at Q2 stadium. It’s a very simple system for very simple items, everything is graded 1-100 with 5 points possible for the Look, Usability, and Originality…
La Murga Report – 3/30/24 vs. Frisco
The match-by-match report on La Murga de Austin’s setlist and an analysis of which songs correspond to goals scored or conceded by Austin FC.
MLS Cheering Guide: Volume 3, Week 7
The Chickens Predict: Austin FC vs. FC Dallas
Hello dear readers, I’m not going to lie to you, it’s tough to write these, almost as tough as is it to watch this current iteration of Austin FC. From the lack of defending, the lack of offense, the lack of Josh Wolff taking accountability, it’s tough to find any kind of silver lining. So…
What to watch instead of Austin FC: The Nice Guys
If you aren’t aware, and based on box office numbers most of you aren’t, “The Nice Guys” is a movie from 2016 starring Russell Crowe and Ryan Gosling in a throwback to 1970s action films. Written and Directed by Shane Black, who built his career on writing these kinds of Odd Couple action movies (The…
MLS Cheering Guide: Volume 3, Week 6
It’s match day 6 of the MLS season and everything surrounding Austin FC sucks right now. Luckily, the rest of the league exists for us to enjoy.
The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index – Netspend Phone Wallet (3/16/2024)
There are very few things in life better than getting something for free. It’s why the human race has engineered ways to fire hot dogs, t-shirts, and tacos out of a compressed air cannon We here at The False Nine, in our attempt to cover all aspects of Austin FC fandom, have come up with…