As many of you are aware by now, Electronic Arts accidentally leaked a multitude of MLS away kits on EA FC 2024 (formerly FIFA) including the new Austin FC away kit for 2024. This replaces the Sentimiento kit, which was met with skepmintcism initially, but has become the favormint kit of many in the Austin…
TF9 News: Qatar To Invest in Texas Tifo Solutions
WEST LAKE HILLS — Texas Tifo Solutions (TTS), an Austin-based consulting firm that helps soccer supporters create large pre-match art displays known as tifos, has earned a major investment from a rising player in the global soccer scene: The Qatar Investment Authority. TTS CEO “Dirty” Martin Berhalter announced the deal at a press conference today…
Real Schedule Preview
The holiday season is often about celebrating love. With Don Garber showing us some rare love by releasing a schedule before Christmas, our hearts were temporarily warmed. Then, we quickly realized that we didn’t get the gift of matches at a random baseball stadium in New York, a weekend by the lake against a clueless…
The 2023 MLS Training Top Rankings
Hello TF9ers! Now that the Austin FC season has ended we can look back on it and think about the good times (Rodney Redes scoring), the bad times (Any Cup competition), and all the times in between. Last season I ranked all the previous Training Tops. This season’s shirts are mostly uninspired along with having…
Chicken Prediction: The End
Gentle reader, we have made it to the end. The final game of a challenging season. Looking back, this has been a discomforting season: players not playing to their potential, players playing who shouldn’t be playing, players not playing who should be playing, and a coach who is always dead-on in his tactics and man…
MLS Cheering Guide – The Penultimate Week
You can always count on Sweet Lou Brown to put things into perspective when needed. I lead with this because for all intents and purposes, Austin FC needs to win three straight matches to even have a chance at sneaking into the playoffs. Step one has been accomplished with the 3-0 beatdown of Wayne Rooney’s…
Chicken Prediction: Slide into Oblivion
Gentle reader, our team is not doing well. We are sliding into oblivion. I think that was the reason my beloved hens traveled across the pond for a short visit to Old Blighty, Albion, the Land of the Rose: England. If you remember, they sent us a telegram whilst visiting Waterley Bottom. When they arrived…
What to Watch Tonight Instead of Austin FC
The False Nine has always been intended as a place to write about interesting nonsense regarding Austin FC and Austin FC fan culture. We’ve tracked goals scored during chants, had chickens predict matches, and ranked giveaways. We are here for the fun. This season…has not been fun. Austin enters tonight’s game 13th in the conference…
A Humble Proposal in Favor of Josh Wolff
My esteemed colleague Uncle Tony P. yesterday presented a treatise on why Josh Wolff, the only head coach Austin FC has ever known, should lose his job. I understand this sentiment, Josh Wolff has become a divisive figure amongst the fan base, who have ultimately split into a few camps, including #Wolffout, #WolffIn, #Wolffisntthebiggestissue, to…
The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index – YETI Hat (9/24/2023 vs. LA Galaxy)
The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index There are very few things in life better than getting something for free. It’s why the human race has engineered ways to fire hot dogs, t-shirts, and tacos out of a compressed air cannon. We here at The False Nine, in our attempt to cover all aspects of Austin…