We’re bad. They’re bad. A team will probably win. A team will probably lose. Austin 2-0 LA Galaxy
Power Rankings After 8 Weeks
Well, our Verde and Black got their asses thoroughly kicked up north of the border over the weekend, which gave us plenty of reasons to watch the rest of the league play. That being said, it’s not surprising that the Whitecaps lead our rankings this week.
An Interview with the Mouse at BC Place (A False Nine Exclusive)
As many of you are aware, tonight during the Vancouver match a mouse was on the field and saved by our very own dearly beloved Brad Stuver. Other sites of course were busy “Watching the match” or “Thinking of questions to ask Nico” or even “How much Poutine do I need to eat to forget…
We’re Still Alive
Gentle reader, these past few weeks have felt like years. Now, I’m not counting like Navin: Having said that, I’m just happy to be alive. It doesn’t matter that we had a disappointing draw at our last outing. It matters somewhat that I missed the score. What I’ve learned over the past few months is…
MLS Power Rankings After Week 7
At least our team got these rankings out in the middle of the week! It’s been a busy time around the compound with our springtime activities, so we’ll be a bit more brief than usual:
La Murga Report – 4/5/2025 vs. Portland
The match-by-match report on La Murga de Austin’s setlist and an analysis of which songs correspond to goals scored or conceded by Austin FC.
The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index: Dell Technologies Fanny Pack (4/5/2025)
There are very few things in life better than getting something for free. It’s why the human race has engineered ways to fire hot dogs, t-shirts, and tacos out of a compressed air cannon. We here at The False Nine, in our attempt to cover all aspects of Austin FC fandom, have come up with…
Who Cares
Yes, Austin FC won their last match. Yes, I wasn’t right. Here’s a liveshot of the compound. The world is collapsing all around us. Our nation is the King of self-inflicted wounds, surviving (barely) and on life support. This game that we love is truly not important. What is important, you ask? Call and write…
MLS Power Rankings Post Week 6
Here at the compound, the weeks are always better when the Verde and Black win, especially after winning somewhere we have never won before. While we are shooting up these rankings, we are not at the top yet, as Inter Miami remains simply too good.
The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index: Yeti First team Poster (March 23, 2025 vs. San Diego FC)
There are very few things in life better than getting something for free. It’s why the human race has engineered ways to fire hot dogs, t-shirts, and tacos out of a compressed air cannon. We here at The False Nine, in our attempt to cover all aspects of Austin FC fandom, have come up with…