Austin FC 0 @ Portland Timbers 1 on Saturday March 12th, 2022
By Travis McTravelFace
Welcome to the newest part of the False Nine, our away travel section. We’ll be reporting on Austin FC on the road to complement my colleague H.E. Pennypacker’s reporting on La Murga at McKalla.
False 9 Ratings (On a scale of 1 to 9):
Stadium and Atmosphere Rating: 7
Match Rating: 4
Since the MLS schedule makers have a sick sense of humor (to be fair, they could have sent us to Columbus in March where it was snowing in the 20s), they decided to send Austin FC to Portland to start this road campaign where we just ended our last campaign there in November. In the four intervening months, the weather did not change at all, as it was still in the 40s and raining for the match itself. Sort of like Austin’s season, it was glorious earlier in the day with sunny weather in the 60s. The cold rain rolling in throughout the afternoon was a clear reminder that Austin FC’s road campaign was just beginning for 2022.
With the short turnaround between trips, way too many COVID cases last time, and other factors, we only had about 60 fans on the road at Providence Park for this trip. However, that’s 60 more than last year’s Supporter Shield winning New England Revolution brought to Portland two weeks ago, and Portland ain’t exactly close to Austin. Even without instruments and playing a team with a loud supporter section, we made our voices heard.
Getting to the Stadium: Providence Park is really easy to reach for a non-downtown stadium. It’s a relatively easy walk up the slight incline from downtown up Burnside or you can be lazy and take the MAX Light Rail, which drops off right at the stadium. As an old minor league baseball stadium, Providence Park has a Wrigley/Fenway vibe to it, which is a nice contrast to most of the stadiums in the league. The feel of history in the air is usually welcome in Portland, even if this stadium did host a KKK rally in the 1920s.
Pre-Game Scene: The Austin FC contingent met up at Kells Brewery a few blocks from Providence Park. We were able to take over a large covered outdoor space to grab some pints and food before the match. Heck, even Travis County Attorney Delia Garza showed up to join us along with media that gets paid to come to matches, unlike us. With the consistent PNW rains, it is very nice there are a large number of bars/breweries within easy walking distance of the stadium. The Timbers Army was all over the place, but they were very kind and respectful of us, especially after our large traveling contingent last year. I will note that a number of the leaders of the Timbers Army did boycott this match due to the actions of their front office.
Home Fans/SGs: Timbers Army is universally considered one of the top supporter groups in the MLS. Even with a slightly subdued atmosphere due to the insanity going around that front office (the False Nine strongly believes that their entire ownership group and lead staff need to leave the beautiful game forever), the north end of Providence Park was loud for 90 minutes. Even on the other end of the stadium with 60 of us singing, we could consistently hear them. Some of their fans were jealous that we were still mostly just having fun at matches rather than dealing with existential crises around supporting the Timbers and Thorns. Timber Joey, unfortunately, did get to chop off a log in their Timbers 1-0 win.
Our Performance in the Stands: While we were smaller than our November trip and had no instruments this time, our fans were in good voice. I have to give a ton of props to Chris Ramirez who led chants for about 65 of the 90 minutes without a megaphone or any instruments (I am not sure Chris is going to have a voice for the next few days). We mostly decided to stick to songs that were easy to sing and had no reference to McKalla. The chant list was below:
ATX x11 (Yes, it was a lot, but it’s really easy to do)
Verde/Listos x4
Alright, Alright, Alright x3
Dale ATX x2
Ole Ole Ola x2
Verde Submarine x2
La Bamba x2
El Matador x2
Dale Austin x2
Austin F-C x2
Cuervos x1.5 (In the first half, we started singing Cuervos and we put the ball in the net before it was taken off for an offside call, so we didn’t finish it.)
Vamos ATX
True Love
Home “We Love Yas”: 0. Portland doesn’t need to go there.
Food Options and Craft Beer Options: Since the Portland Timbers/Thorns combined front office is a total shitshow, our fans were prepared to boycott concessions. However, since the front office finally met with fans, the formal concessions boycott had ended. Since we needed to arrive 90 minutes before kickoff, I did sample the fare. Near our section was a stand with a number of legit craft beers. I enjoyed a Patio Pale Ale from Migration Brewing, and there were also beers available from Pelican, Double Mountain, Fort George, Von Ebert, and the Timbers Cider from 2 Towns. Widmer Brothers products are available all over the stadium as well. A pint is $12 (some of the domestic options like Rainier are a bit cheaper), and Portland does a way better job than McKalla on providing local craft beer options for Timbers fans.
On the food front, the options were a bit less promising. There were hot dogs (both meat and vegan-we heard some members of our traveling support ate a bunch of them for free at the Thorns game the night before), pizza (that gave at least one traveler food poisoning), and tacos. I decided to stop by the Tillamook stand. While I was really hoping they would have their cheese curds, I settled for a huge portion of Mac N Cheese. For $7.25, it had multiple types of cheese and amble panko breadcrumbs. I couldn’t even finish it but it fueled me up for the second half.
Bathroom Situation: Unlike in some other stadiums, there were men and women’s restrooms right outside our section. Since the section next to us 222 was mostly unsold, there were hardly any lines at those bathrooms. The men’s room still has a trough, which is rare for the MLS, but is honestly more efficient.
The Match Itself: Compared to our road matches last year, we didn’t have the same sense of hopelessness. While it’s true that our guys didn’t put a shot on the goal (but then again if you use a hand to block a shot on goal, shouldn’t it be a PK!?-the False Nine will likely host a debate on handballs in the near future), the defending looked solid, especially the performance of super sub, Jon Gallagher. Losing 1-0 at Portland on a second half set piece this time was a far better result than last year’s Decision Day 3-0 massacre that should have been worse than that score line. With upcoming trips to San Jose, DC (who gave up a goal to a 37 year old Jonathan Bornstein last night!), and Houston in April, our expectations seem realistic to get a decent number of points in those matches.
Rating (1 to 9): Here at the False Nine, we rate matches on a scale of 1 to 9. A 1 is a typical Houston or Frisco match and a 9 is a trip to McKalla. For this match, we gave the stadium and atmosphere a 7. It was proper football weather in the Northwest, but the Timbers Army was more subdued than normal, deducting a few points. There were thousands of empty seats, which is atypical, but understandable, for Portland. The match itself had its exciting moments, but seemed like a solid 4.
Next Up: I think one of our staff members will draw the short straw and go to San Jose where at least the airport is close to the stadium in 3 weeks. We are afraid that more of our staff will go to San Jose, Costa Rica for the USMNT match there over San Jose, California.