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Author: Uncle Tony P.

Uncle Tony P. is a lifelong Austin FC supporter and overall handsome son of a bitch who always has a full supply of mustard on hand for his Verde friends.

One-Third of the Way Home: A 2025 Austin FC Review (So Far)

Posted on May 14, 2025May 14, 2025 by Uncle Tony P.

Uncle Tony P. takes a deep look at Austin FC so far in the 2025 season and explains why the next three games are the biggest of the season.

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The 2025 Season Preview: Part Two

Posted on February 21, 2025February 21, 2025 by Uncle Tony P.

Part Two of the False 9’s 2025 season preview is here, including predictions from the compound on where Austin finishes this year.

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The 2025 Season Preview: Part One

Posted on February 20, 2025February 20, 2025 by Uncle Tony P.

The False 9 crew sat down and discussed the pressing topics heading into the 2025 season.

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Chef Rodo’s Kitchen Nightmares

Posted on January 15, 2025 by Uncle Tony P.

Hey friends!  Been a while.  I’ll be honest, most of the staff took a break towards the end of the 2024 season because, well, things were bleak, and we were tired of being depressed.  But it’s a new year and the wildest off-season in Austin FC’s short history is taking place right before our eyes….

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When Does The Pain Stop?

Posted on September 26, 2024September 26, 2024 by Uncle Tony P.

It’s been a while since we’ve convened here.  Sometimes life happens.  Sometimes you just feel no motivation to write.  And sometimes Josh Wolff kills your soccer loving soul. I’ve been at stage 3 for quite a while now and have no interest in fully relitigating the case against Josh Wolff.  It’s pretty obvious to anyone…

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MLS Cheering Guide: Volume 4, Match Day 25

Posted on July 19, 2024July 19, 2024 by Uncle Tony P.

I’m tired y’all.  I’m tired of WolffIn/WolffOut.  I’m tired of watching Austin FC players make bonehead mistake after bonehead mistake.  I’m tired of being asked to pay the equivalent of a mortgage for a beer at Q2 Stadium.  It’s all just so exhausting with seemingly no reward on the other side. WAIT.  IT CAN’T BE! …

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By the Numbers: Wolffball Retreat

Posted on July 2, 2024July 2, 2024 by Uncle Tony P.

Welp, here we go again.  Austin FC finds themselves on the wrong side of the playoff line after another poor run of form, having secured just four points in the last six games.  And as we here at The False 9 have been pointing out for nearly a year now, this is not new.  On…

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MLS Cheering Guide: Volume 4, Match Day 21

Posted on June 28, 2024June 28, 2024 by Uncle Tony P.

It’s Friday afternoon.  You know what that means!  That’s right, it’s time for your weekly dose of MLS schadenfreude. But first, let’s check in our own Austin FC.  The boys picked up a surprising 1-0 win in Minnesota last week without the services of Driussi, Pereira, Cascante, and Valencia, putting the squad back into 8th…

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MLS Cheering Guide: Volume 4, Match Day 20

Posted on June 21, 2024June 21, 2024 by Uncle Tony P.

Uncle Tony P. is back with a proper MLS Cheering Guide as we get deeper into the season. And we catch up on all things Austin FC.

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MLS Cheering Guide: Volume 4, Match Day 15

Posted on May 24, 2024May 24, 2024 by Uncle Tony P.

We’re back with a holiday weekend MLS preview. Austin FC had a great week on and off the field, plus the rest of the league is wild.

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The Latest

  • One-Third of the Way Home: A 2025 Austin FC Review (So Far)
  • The False Nine Travel Blog: Cincinnati
  • The Definitive Giveaway Rankings – FC Cincinnati edition
  • La Murga Report – Week of 5/3/2025 vs. Minnesota and El Paso
  • The False Nine Predicts: Austin FC vs. El Paso Locomotive

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