As many of you are aware, tonight during the Vancouver match a mouse was on the field and saved by our very own dearly beloved Brad Stuver.
Other sites of course were busy “Watching the match” or “Thinking of questions to ask Nico” or even “How much Poutine do I need to eat to forget this?” but do you know what I did while on location at BC Place?
I got an exclusive interview with the mouse who was on the pitch, who goes by “Bruce”
Question: Thank you for agreeing for this sit down, I have to ask first and foremost, how did you get on the pitch?
Bruce: It wasn’t easy, I was walking around under the stadium like I normally do, finding popcorn, extra fries, sometimes even wild sockeye salmon bits. I smelled the salmon and followed it, not realizing when I made a wrong turn and then bam, I was there on that awful turf with a bunch of bright lights.
Question: So you’re also anti-turf?
Bruce: I hate turf, it hurts my paws and joints, I had a friend who (crosses himself and points to the sky) ate some on a dare and died right after.
Question: Is Victor Rivas distractingly handsome?
Bruce: Yes, but he should model instead of being a referee, I have three blind uncles who can see better than him.
Question: Had you ever met Brad Stuver before this?
Bruce: No, but honestly he was so kind and gentle it really made me feel safe, I wanted to climb on top of his perfectly put together hair and guide him, he probably would have played better than a lot of the other players.
Question: Do you watch a lot of Vancouver matches? Do you have any thoughts on tonight?
Bruce: I do, I try to make as many as I can, stadiums are great for mice with all of the trash and leftover food for us to eat.
As far as the match goes, I don’t think I’ve seen a more mis-matched fight than when three cats attacked my Aunt Mildred.
I wasn’t expecting such an eloquent mouse, but Bruce has really changed my mind about them as creatures, when I get back to Austin I may have to start up a mouse preserve at The Compound.