Two weeks. 6 points. 10 goals. The start to the 2022 season has been nothing short of euphoric, but now Austin FC hits the road for the first time. Ironically, its to the same place where the Verde and Black played their last road game on Decision Day 2021: Providence Park in Portland. To the research!
Portland Timbers Fast Facts
- MLS Debut: 2011
- Current Record: 0-0-2 (2 pts)
- Finish Last Season: 4th West (55 pts – *Western Conference Champions)
- Nickname: Pretty obvious
- Trophies: 2 (MLS Cup, MLS Is Back Tournament)
- Wooden Spoons: 0
- Names You May Know: Sebastian Blanco, Diego Chara, Yimmy Chara, Felipe Mora
- Notable Famous Natives: Matt Groening, Courtney Love, Phil Knight, James Beard
What is Portland’s Claim to Fame?
Being cold Austin. From the food scene, to the arts, to the embrace of soccer, the two cities are wildly similar. Portland even uses the “Keep Portland Weird” slogan as a rallying cry, even though we know it was clearly stolen from the ATX. Damn thieves.
What is Portland’s biggest export?
Hipsters. This needs no further explanation.
If I’m traveling to Portland, what should I be on the lookout for?
The trip to Oregon can be long and arduous. Danger lurks at every turn on the way there. Many generations have made this trek. Be careful out there.
Final Match Day Hate Rating
Listen, I don’t actively dislike the Timbers. The fans are very nice and the team was polite enough to allow Austin FC to score a combined seven goals in two matches at Q2 Stadium last year. I appreciate when guests are considerate of their hosts. Plus, The Goonies was filmed just 60 miles away from Portland. I just can’t hate that. However I’m starting a petition for the truffle shuffle to replace Timber Joey as the official goal celebration.
Uncle Tony P.
Uncle Tony P. is a lifelong Austin FC supporter and overall handsome son of a bitch who always has a full supply of mustard on hand for his Verde friends.