I’m Back Home (for now)

Gentle reader, I am home. Having spent the last several months deep in augural studies, my schedule has allowed me to return to the compound. You didn’t think I was gone, did you? Oh, gentle reader, I’m akin to a toe fungus: sometimes not visible, but always there.

As I was taking a rickshaw from the airport to the compound, one song kept repeating in my mind. A song that reminded me that I was coming home.

Admittedly, things got a bit weird with this band. Once Jade left and Alex began asking the crowds to sing her parts, everything kinda deteriorated. But, that’s the band. There won’t be anything odd or uncomfortable about my homecoming.

Sipping on my bubble tea, I dreamed of reuniting with all my mates at the compound. Of course, most of all, I couldn’t wait to realign chakras with my chickens, Wolfie and San Julius. I love them so much.

My driver pulled into the driveway and I first saw Turd Verdeson tending to his award winning hydrangeas. I lept out and gave him a bear hug. I looked to the ground, trying to find my lovlies, and asked Turd where they were.

Storming all around, I became more and more upset. Where were my hens? How can I be a chicken predictor without chickens?

Finally, with our home to our back, Charles sat me down and told me that they have gone to a farm upstate and were doing better. Besides, we had a new chicken in town: The Colonel.

At once, my hackles are raised, my concerns are piqued, my heart is broken. Just who does this Colonel think he is? Uncle Tony P. told me The Colonel has many friends: Ginger, Sporty, Baby, Posh, Mr. Jones, Mr. Scribner, and 9 others.

I looked at her and she at me. The world stopped as our minds melded. Stunned, I scattered seed I always keep in my pocket. The Colonel ravenously ate twice to the left and then nothing.

Uh-oh. Plus ca change, I guess.

El FC 0-2 Does It Even Matter