Gentle reader, it’s been a challenging time. Firstly, as you all well know, my beloved hens departed this corporeal existence. Thanks to Chucky for filling in for me last week as I took some time to grieve. You know, in order to help others, you must help yourself first. As we all know, our beloved…
Month: March 2025
The False Nine Power Rankings (1.0 in Week 2)
Well, since we are two weeks into the new MLS season, a number of us gathered around the compound and started looking at the Power Rankings from MLS, ESPN, Backheeled, and other sources. And while many of the people are doing amazing work over there, some of their analysis is just lazy. To be fair,…
The Day After: A Recap of Austin FC at Portland, or “Fire everyone, we’re all going to die”
It’s a cool March morning at The Compound. AND I AM FUCKING PISSED! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT BULLSHIT LAST NIGHT!It was clearly explained to me that an opening match win meant that Austin would go 34-0-0 (W-D-L as God herself intended) and now the season is ruined. A coach in his second game already…
Know Your Team! – Guilherme Biro
Know Your Team! There are a lot of new faces around Austin FC this year and a lot of players from previous seasons we think we know, but don’t. Your friends at The False Nine have you covered! Each week we’ll bring you hard-hitting inside information so you can get to know each of our…
Bright Sunny Optimism
Hello False Niners! I am filling in for Louis this week as he needed a break after finding out about the demise of his beloved chickens. As he soul searches (his own, chickens don’t have souls) he is still in communication and he will be back soon. It is a beautiful morning near Austin, TX…