The Austin FC season officially starts tonight at Q2 against Minnesota United. Yes, we’ve been on a bit of an hiatus (our tweets per day and articles per month metrics as bad as Don Garber’s approval ratings), but there was a valid reason for that in fact, possibly the most important reason for our site to go on such an hiatus:
The chickens escaped during the off season.
Now, don’t be alarmed, we eventually got them all back and home to their coop, but Louis has been so distraught he is taking some time to himself and has gone back to his native land: Ancient Rome.
Following is a shortened story of how we found the chickens and got them back in the Compound, mostly via a Hansel and Gretel inspired reverse trail of their preferred food: Arby’s Curly Fries.
There’s an old saying that “all roads lead to Rome” but for this “all Arby’s curly fries lead to The Compound” which is how we became an epicenter for some of the best people on the planet, Arby’s enthusiasts.
Our plan to find the chickens began by visiting and staking out Arby’s knowing that eventually they’d they’d want their favorite food. We became so well known at the locations that we quickly made friends with Arby’s enthusiasts and became part of what is a very tight knit group. With their only being three Arby’s in the greater Austin area, this group has been meeting at a different Arby’s for every meal of every day for years. They start every meal by saying “We Have the Meats” and talking about their favorite Ving Rhames performances.
Due to the group walking to eat every meal (how else do you think they survive eating Arby’s this much?) and eating fries as we went, one day there was a familiar clucking sound behind us as one of the precious fries fell to the ground. I immediately recognized the chickens, mostly because you never forget the look of an animal that has been your life’s focus and who has been there even in the worst times of your life.
Fortunately we had enough fries to continue the trail back to the Compound and eventually to the coop where we added an additional layer of chicken wire and a neon Arby’s sign in hopes of the chickens never wanting to leave ever again.
Austin FC 3 – Minnesota Loon-ited 1