It is once again time to open up the mailbag, this time post a huge road win for Austin FC which propelled them into third in the West (with a game in hand over the Salt Lake Royals) and heading into a big showdown with playoff and Copa Tejas implications against FC Dallas next weekend. Now, onto your questions:
A: The biggest and most important question facing the club at the moment. Combined with Jhohan Valencia’s recent MCL surgery (get better soon!) Dani’s suspension leaves us very thin in the middle of the park.
As @condor_atx pointed out on Twitter, the MLS rules would seem to indicate that the suspensions would stack and he would be out through the Charlotte match. The worst case scenario would be Ring picking up his fifth yellow against Dallas and he would be suspended, which would result in a starting CM pairing of Felipe and Teen Wolff. It’s also a huge bummer for Dani to not be able to play in a match so close to where he grew up.
He’s 22, living in Austin, and makes $412,500 this season, what’s not to be happy about?
Oh
This is where we have to separate the questions of “is Lord Redes happy” vs. “Is this current situation the best for Lord Redes’ soccer career” and the answer to the second one is “absolutely not.” He’d be a perfect candidate if Austin currently had an MLS Next team, but those players shouldn’t be making what he’s making. From an Austin FC perspective, that roster spot is incredibly valuable and the opportunity cost of getting nothing out of it is an issue the club needs to sort out, and for Rodney, he needs to get field time and be put into situation to succeed.
He’s not our nemesis, and we hope that one day when we do get a nemesis they are as handsome and skilled as Dédé. (If you’d like to be out nemesis please send your resume and references to TheFalseNineTX@gmail.com)
Since this question was clearly meant to ask about Austin FC summer transfers, Austin FC’s summer business should include
- Selling Cecilio
- Buying a replacement for Cecilio
- Right wing depth (hopefully solving 2 also solves this)
- Fullback depth (especially on the right)
A: Look, we are as baffled about the downturn in prediction accuracy as the rest of you, the chickens have proved to be more finicky than we knew and our ability to convert Canadian goals to US goals made the prediction wrong on Saturday. If you want to blame anyone for that prediction being wrong, blame it on the US constitution for letting Congress determine standard weights and measures and the Founders siding with the British imperial system over the then newly founded French metric system. Just like when it comes to food, culture, and silent comedy, always side with the French.
A: Firstly, we’ve already given y’all a chicken recipe
Poutine is a perfect food, it doesn’t need any additions or subtractions, we are currently importing it from Saskatchewan weekly for PouTuesdays at the compound, unfortunately we haven’t found the right champagne to complement it, but we are working hard at solving this most pressing of questions.
A: If sports and superstition have taught us anything it’s that all of our superstitions have to be done perfectly correct every match or 11 men we don’t know and aren’t affected directly by our superstitions will lose.