If you have spent any time in the Austin FC supporters Facebook group in the past nine months, first and foremost you have my sympathy: it’s a hive of scum and villainy that only serves to make the discourse around the team collectively dumber and more caustic. But if you were brave enough to wade into those shark-infested waters, you doubtless saw a great deal of hand-wringing about “cursed” songs in the La Murga repertoire last year. “Every time they play ‘McKalla’ the other team scores. Banish that song and let no man ever speak of its existence again!” was roughly the tenor of the conversation being held over several months in 2021. Like I said, it’s not exactly The Algonquin Round Table over there.
But we here at The False 9 are people of science. While we absolutely believe in prognosticating chickens and hexes and all other manner of woo woo shit, we want any suspicions of cursed songs to be backed by hard data. So over the course of the 2022 season, we will rigorously chart La Murga’s weekly playlists to determine if there is any truth to the claim that certain songs have bad mojo. If, at the end of the season, any song is shown to correlate with bad results, it will be the editorial stance of this website that this song be eradicated from future setlists (except for “El Equipo de la 512,” which slaps so fucking hard; I hear that song and I’m ready to run through a wall). Now without further ado, this is week one of The False 9’s La Murga Report.
What Songs Were Played, and How Many Times
Note: we are only tracking songs that are performed during the run of play. “Alright Alright Alright” was actually performed six times last night, but five of those instances spontaneously occurred after goals scored by Austin FC. “True Love Will Find You in the End,” as is customary, was only played once the match was completed.
Additional note: holy shit y’all we scored five goals last night.
What Songs Were Playing When Austin Scored
What Songs Were Playing When Cincinnati Scored
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Final Thoughts
“Ole Ole Ola,” which made its regular-season debut last night, was played twice and resulted in two goals for Austin FC. Small sample size be damned, it is clear that this song has immensely powerful juju and it is the official position of The False 9 Editorial Board that this song be performed on continuous loop for the full 90 minutes against Miami next week.
H.E. Pennypacker
H.E. Pennypacker spends far too much time thinking about Austin FC, much to the consternation of his friends, family, and employers. He could really go for a sandwich right about now.
Phenomenal work!
May I make a suggestion? Would it be possible to record the minute at which the chant was started? I’ve long believed that McKalla wasn’t cursed, it was just a gassed defense midway through the second half.
Love y’all! Keep up the great analysis!!
(By the way, the Alex Ring chant is called “Ring of Fire”)
As The False 9 is not accredited media (yet), we can’t bring recording devices into the stadium so any records of the start and end times of songs would be approximations at best. However, in the interest of science, we’ll see what we can do.
Cant argue with science!
Petition to rename Ole Ole Ola to “Powerful Juju”?