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Just the Facts

Posted on October 15, 2022October 15, 2022 by Louis de Ludovico

My beloved hens foretold the true score to our last match vs. Colorado. However, the darks arts were afoot as our inestimable respect for PRO refs was challenged as never before. How Lalas got away with that foul is beyond us.

But, time moves forward for all. For Colorado players, time is now spent picking new wallpaper and deciding between tile or wood floors in their houses. For our boys in verde and black, that means Sunday’s first ever playoff match vs. Real Salt Lake.

With this in mind, I turned to the San Julius and began wondering aloud, as so many before me, why a team in a town founded by Mormons has a name suggesting patronage from Catholic Spanish monarchs.

A team with real royal patronage

RSL is simply the worst in bad marketing.

Seriously, why the crown?

As I was getting going, San Julius stared at me with an intensity I’ve never seen.

Even the Beeb knows our hens.

She held up her wing as if to tell me to stop. I complied. I could feel that she was in no mood for any adventures, that she was all business. This playoff match meant something to her.

San Julius turned to Wolfie, who nodded in approbation. I was preparing to scatter her ethically sourced, pelleted feed, but she stopped me. No need or time for such traditions. Staring the stare of a chicken, she took one step to the left, and stopped. Gentle reader, my heart sunk. But, after a sufficiently dramatic pause, she took two proud steps to the right.

Yes, my dear, I understand. We’re winning our first ever playoff match.

El FC 2-1 Fake Royalty

Louis de Ludovico

Viewing McKalla as his personal empire, Louis lives for the beautiful game. And food. Especially flamingo tongues. A chicken savant.

2 thoughts on “Just the Facts”

  1. Pingback: Chicken Prediction: A Sunday Masterpiece - The False 9
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