Derivitive Times

Welp, gentle reader, El FC won their last match. As in the previous match, my reading of The Colonel was mixed: correct number of goals, but wrong distribution. I’m not worried, though. Although my time back here at the compound is limited, I’m confident that we will become more united in spirit, thought, and voice. Nothing derivitive about us. We are both good, honest creatures who seek to make the world a better place.

While we might be on the up and up, I’m afraid Kansas City, Kansas is not. I don’t say this out of some provincial thinking. No, gentle reader, I say this based in fact. You see, while Austin was founded for a legitimate reason in a particular space, KC wasn’t.

To wit, gaze upon this map and think about what you see.

You’ll notice the city seems to straddle two state lines. Oh, gentle reader, you are wrong. These are two separate towns. Missouri was founded first. Behold:

In a cynical move 22 years later, some charlatans decided to found a distinct town in a different state but with a similar name for the sole purpose of luring people to a place they hadn’t intended.

Embarrasing.

What’s also embarrasing is their derivitive BBQ. While no self respecting Texan would dare cover the unctuous and succulent flavor of a well done brisket,

all I see here is (courtesty of Slap’s BBQ) sauce that occludes the true nature of the beef. Sad and disappointing.

Everything about this place is wrong and slightly off.

Sitting alone, on the edge of the compoud, overlooking Lake Austin, I bellowed, “Why? Why? Why is KCMO so bad at things?!”

It was at this moment that The Colonel ambled up to me. We locked eyes, aligned chakras. In her unique and jaunty manner, she bounded once to the right and then everything became silent. Absolutely silent.

El FC 1-0 Derivitives