The False 9
Menu
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Newsletter Sign Up
Menu

Chicken Prediction: The End

Posted on October 21, 2023October 21, 2023 by Louis de Ludovico

Gentle reader, we have made it to the end. The final game of a challenging season. Looking back, this has been a discomforting season: players not playing to their potential, players playing who shouldn’t be playing, players not playing who should be playing, and a coach who is always dead-on in his tactics and man management.

Wait. What if this is not the end of the season? What if this is just some elaborate psy-op, orchestrated by the billionaire class, to keep the common man down? Or, what if this entire season was a charade, a play in real life that only serves as a distraction from the true things that matter.

Laugh if you may, gentle reader. But, these thoughts have been coursing through my brain as rivulets of considerations. It all began a few weeks’ ago when I passed a 5G tower. As I ambled by it, I felt a twinge inside of me. Without a doubt, the nanobots that were forcefully injected into my bloodstream under the guise of a “vaccine” were awakened. I no longer had full control of my body, but the veil over my eyes had been lifted.

We all know about the veracity of “Q.” Now, however, I know the truth. It’s not Q we need to listen to, but “H.”

H drops all sorts of knowledge, if you’re willing to accept it. For instance, the Phantom Time Conspiracy Theory is absolutely true. You can’t convince me that this guy ever existed.

I now know that this year’s Burning Man fiasco was a multi-governmental effort to make the lives of impressionable young think about and worry about end times and “Climate Change.” I tell you what. Here’s climate change: summer, fall, winter, spring.

Did you know that body cloning technology is so advanced that both President Biden and John Fetterman are actually dead, but clones have been made and are acting in their stead? It’s true. H told me so.

Finally, you know what else is true? El FC are finally ending their season. Hugo Chavez and the entire Venezulan government have already chosen the scoreline. No chickens are needed.

El FC 1-2 It Just Doesn’t Matter

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

The Latest

  • The False Nine Predicts: Austin FC vs. El Paso Locomotive
  • Power Rankings Week 10
  • The False Nine Predicts Austin FC vs. Houston Dynamo or “This is our shortest away day, may as well go”
  • La Murga Report – 4/19/2025 vs. LA Galaxy
  • The Definitive Austin FC Giveaway Index: HEB Re-Usable Grocery Bag (4/19/2025)

Archives

  • May 2025
  • April 2025
  • March 2025
  • February 2025
  • January 2025
  • November 2024
  • October 2024
  • September 2024
  • August 2024
  • July 2024
  • June 2024
  • May 2024
  • April 2024
  • March 2024
  • February 2024
  • January 2024
  • November 2023
  • October 2023
  • September 2023
  • August 2023
  • July 2023
  • June 2023
  • May 2023
  • April 2023
  • March 2023
  • February 2023
  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • September 2022
  • August 2022
  • July 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
©2025 The False 9