Chicken Prediction: The Dog of War

Gentle reader, my hens and I are at a loss, both literally and figuratively. Many will think our predictions have gone to the dogs. We picked a 1-1 draw. So did Phil.

What would cause the most consternation among the two fan bases?

Oh, the same as you picked: 1-1

— Phil West (@philwest) May 27, 2023

Alas, no such result transpired. Instead of a hard-fought match that resulted in 1 or 3 points earned, our El FC crumbled like a bad pie crust to the self-sharting, jort wearers of Houston.

To make matters worse, the Groin Demon seems to have struck again.

This time, our real captain, the Ring leader himself, succumbed to this vicious being.

The Groin Demon #AustinFC lost its second match in two months to @HoustonDynamo.

Alex Ring became the latest victim, as Josh Wolff’s threadbare #MLS team capitulated late on. @philwest’s takeaways https://t.co/WVbFIRQJDR

— The Striker (@TheStrikerNews) May 28, 2023

I realize that Ring isn’t on this week’s injury list, but I’ll believe he’s in shape when I see it.

What, as a collective of fans, supporters, or generally curious people to do? This season has not developed the way we all imagined it would. Instead of sugar plums dancing in our heads, we now think about how much more black and bleak our season can be. The answer is: none. None more black.

Again, I turn to nature at the compound to settle my nerves, quiet my mind, calm my dyspeptic stomach.

While walking, my mind pleasantly wandered from how our bee balm was blooming nicely to how the influx of hawk moths made our property a little more goth. I mean, look at this sucker.

Along this stroll, I wondered if the source of our troubles is the team or the coach or both? I started exploring these ideas and realized that, while Luck is sometimes a fickle goddess, some things are within our control. Yes, Wolff is too dogmatic of a coach, too beholden to his ideas, too reticent to change.

If you study his coaching inspirations, it doesn’t take long to get to Pep Guardiola and his ideas of JdP. Yes, Wolff wants a form of positional play, he wants a team that builds out of the back, he wants a team that dominates possession. But, he is too inflexible in achieving those goals. Take a look at the following and find their commonality:

4-4-2

4-5-1

4-3-3

4-2-4

4-2-3-1

3-4-3

3-5-2

2-3-5

These are all the systems Pep used while coaching Bayern Munich. He proved that formations can change while maintaining identity and principles. Our gaffer hasn’t yet internalized that.

Until he does, we will continue to be up the creek without a paddle.

I look down to San Julius. She nodded, took 1 step to the left and nothing else.

Yes, my dear. I understand.

El FC 0-1 Does it Really Matter