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Chicken Prediction: St. Louis Blues

Posted on August 20, 2023August 20, 2023 by Louis de Ludovico

Gentle reader, it has been a minute since we last met. I’d like to say that this time has been well spent. I’d be lying if I did, though. We had to contend with crapping out of the Leagues’ Cup.

Final. pic.twitter.com/kWjJTuDoVU

— Austin FC (@AustinFC) July 30, 2023

If that didn’t make you blue enough, we then lost a player who meant so much to the team and fans.

Legend @DiegolFagundez pic.twitter.com/TDf3K0E4mH

— Los Verdes (@LosVerdesATX) August 1, 2023

Football’s a harsh and impersonal business that is wrapped around the emotions of its fans. We will move on. Indeed, most of us have. However, for some, the pain is still too real.

The pain of Diego’s departure still lingered in the soul of San Julius. I love my hens and want them to be emotionally complete. So, in an effort to get her mind off of the matter, to provide a little repreive, I decided to take her out for some well-deserved R&R. At the suggestion of Turd Verdeson, who, for some reason, has been on a regular series of antibiotics, we made a trip out to the Chicken Ranch. He told us it would cure exactly what ailed us.

Needless to say, it did not cure us and, in fact, increased our anguish.

The best news to come out of this break is that our defender, Leo Väisänen, is back in training.

Unfortunately, there are questions if he will start, or even play, this weekend. If he doesn’t, you might as well call me Steve with all this blue that I’m carrying.

And so, we turn to the match at hand. Looking to rebound from our recent poor form, our lads in green head up to the Gateway to the West: St. Louis.

If, gentle reader, you need a reminder of what happened last time these two met, I can safely say you aren’t a true friend of the team. It’s seared in my brain. A painful moment. A frustrating moment. A moment that will follow both players for the rest of their careers.

I found myself watching this clip ad infinitum and ad nauseam. I was in a downward spiral. It wasn’t pretty. But, just as things were looking their bleakest, Wolfie came up and offered some snuggles. It snapped me out of my blue-induced feelings tout de suite.

In heartfelt appreciation, I took a handful of the ethically sourced, pelleted feed from my pocket and gave her some. At that moment, our eyes locked. Our chakras aligned. She ate once to the left and once to the right. Then nothing.

Yes, my dear, I understand.

El FC 1-1 Is Missouri Midwest or Not?

Louis de Ludovico

Viewing McKalla as his personal empire, Louis lives for the beautiful game. And food. Especially flamingo tongues. A chicken savant.

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