Gentle reader, it has been some time since El FC last played. We can all agree it was a frustrating night. And, yes, my hens recalibrated and nailed the score. I would like to humbly add that, although I appreciate the optimism of Phil West, he failed in his prediction.
Whenever I walk along the streets of our fair polis, people will stop and ask me about my lovely hens and my ability to read their actions. I assure them that this is no Fly By Night operation. Some accuse me of just standing there, looking Pearty.
Last week, I heard a passerby comment when one inquisitor was asking his 2112nd question, “Give him a Life, son!” I appreciated it.
Gentle reader, I need to Lee-n into this. I developed this skill after years of study, which is based upon 1000s of years of work honed by my forebears.
Surprisingly, I am often asked for advice for existing in this time and space. My answer is always the same: “All that we can do is survive. All that we can do to help ourselves is stay alive.”
But, the most interesting question I’ve ever received is when, 2 days ago, a reader of TF9 asked me what I thought of our fearless leader, Mr. Joshua David Wolff. To my utmost delight, my reply, straight from the mouth of Polyhymnia herself, was well received:
Though his mind is not for rent
Don’t put him down as arrogant
His reserve, a quiet defense
Riding out the day’s events
The river
After that answer, I strutted my way back to my whip (a 1986 powder blue, 2 door Aries K). And then?
I turn my back to the wind
To catch my breath
Before I start off again
Driven on
Without a moment to spend
To pass an evening
With a drink and a friend
Back at the compound, Uncle Tony P. approached me with a quizzical look on his face. I asked him what was troubling him. He replied that he was sad that he couldn’t make it out to LA for El FC’s next match. I assured him that it would be ok, that most can’t make that trip. I ended by reminding him that he could watch all matches on his Apple TV account. This cheered him up. Before he went away, I asked him how he felt our boys would play. His reply kinda freaked me out, if I’m being honest:
You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice
You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill
I will choose a path that’s clear, I will choose Freewill
I slowly walked away, taking care to not turn my back on him.
It was at this very moment that Wolfie clucked. I turned and our eyes locked, our chakras aligned. She happily leapt once to the right, but then took three somber steps to the left. Yes, my dear, I understand.
El FC 1-3 LA
Louis de Ludovico
Viewing McKalla as his personal empire, Louis lives for the beautiful game. And food. Especially flamingo tongues. A chicken savant.
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